Child support

I do not know if file Bankruptcy will do anything for you. My agreement is set up that it doesn't matter if you file bankruptcy or not, it does not affect child support or the amount. My ex filed bankruptcy and it did not affect what he had to pay me. You might want to talk to your attorney that handled your divorce and see what they have to say about it. Also read your agreement and see what it says about filing bankruptcy. Mine has information in it regarding this.

Every state has its own laws on child support figure. Depending upon the state in which the child support order was issued, and depending upon the change in your income, you may have reasons to modify the figure. The court will ascertain looking at the best interests of your child if they are to modify the amount of the child support because of the changes in your living expenses. You should certainly consult an attorney and prepare your case.

Child support is not dischargeable in bankruptcy,you may get a little breathing room with ch 13 but you still gonna have to pay it. Hire attorney to have case either reviewed or appealed.

No what is sad is you don't want to be a responsible parent and pay the child support you are ordered to, you need to change your "way of life" and your attitude when it comes to parenting. If you want to be a weasel and pay as little CS as you can then quit your $18hr job and go work at KFC for $7hr, then you won't have to pay that much, I hope the BK judge knocks you back to earth and reams you from one end of the court room to the other.

Guest,
You are quite correct.Support your kids.I only mentioned the rehearing to rule out op being overcharged. I am of same belief that kids are your responsibility.

My ex managed to get his CS reduced when he got out of the military and I have not bee able to get it increased back up for 12 years. He has quit work everytime I have tried to do something to where he does not have the income. When I tried to talk to him about an increase of $50 per child, he went nuts and started calling me everything in the book! I loose child support on my son in a couple of months and have 4 more years for my daughter. He hates having to pay me any money. I am sure we are going to get into it when she turns 18 because she will just be starting her Senior year in HS and he is going to want to stop paying on her 18th b-day, but I believe he has to pay for her as long as she is still in HS school.

I too believe that if you have kids, you should help support them. I tried to work with my ex and ended up getting screwed, but I do believe in being fair and if there is a change that needs to be made due to an ex working or whatever, this needs to be talked about with an attorney and things can go from there.

Yes I agree! My husband has two other children and the only reason he went to get his lowered is because we have them more than half the time-so why keep paying their mother for children we have 8 months of the year??? But she still gets over 500 a month just from us not to mention the support she gets from her other baby daddy...I would rather pay her and have the kids with us anyway....

My ex does not have anything to do with his children, but that has been his choice. I have not had an increase in 12 years and took the $100 decrease when he got out of the military and never seen it again. I get $300 per child and he complains and complains. My husband now, would have adopted them and we even offered that, but my ex has refused, but wants to throw up that I have my husband to help pay for things for the kids and I have my folks if they need anything, blah, blah, blah. He forgets that he had the fun of making these children, so now he should have the responsibility to help take care of them! He is such an a$$ that my son refuses to have anything to do with him and calls him a spem donor. My daughter is still torn on how she feels...mostly because she was a baby when me and her dad split so she did not have to hear or see the abuse or anything like that. My son was old enough to remember and remember seeing his daddy with another woman. It has actually gotten to the point, I don't ask my ex for anything. He is suppose to help pay the medical bills and such, but the are in my name and if he doesn't pay, who do they come back on anyway, ME...not him, but me. He has got as little insurance on them as possible (thankfully my husband put them on his policy), my ex took them off his dental policy without telling anyone and used the excuse, well they don't want anything to do with me anyway, so I figured why pay for the dental. Only medical is required! In the past 6 years, he has not sent the kids anything for their birthdays, Christmas or anything. He does not call them or write them and really hasn't too much since we separated and yet he wonders why they don't have anything to do with him. His excuses are...well they don't call me, they don't send me cards, they don't send me anything, so why should I. My husband and I figured we would just let him be, for the most part. The less he is in our lives, the better. The kids do not ask about him, do not ask to call him, do not even talk about him. My son has informed me that he does not want him at his graduation (or any of my ex's family either) and does not want him knowing he is going into the military either. It is sad.

That is a shame! I am sorry to hear that about your childrens father...but if he is that big of a jerk perhaps it is better that your children dont see him....

2ndband - This may seem like an odd question, but do you or your son listen to Dr Laura? She always refers to those kinds of "dads" as sperm donors . . . . .

2ndband,It is not all lost. I raised my wife's first son as my own and this year gladly adopted him after stomping the daylights out of that spermdonor.He had the nerve to contest when he has lived within 150 feet from my home for the last 12 years :shock:. Judge put him out and he paid my court costs so it worked out good. If you find you a special person,then they may be able to do this with yours.

2nband - what does your divorce decree say as far as the child support goes? 18th birthday, or as long as she's a student, he's responsible for support? That may be the deciding factor, unless your state laws say otherwise. Some states require support be paid as long as the child is a student in high school. It doesn't apply when they go to college.

Thanks everyone ~

Leah, yes he is a jerk! As we see it now, it is better that the kids don't have to see him. I remember a few times they did go see him and they would come back the children from hell. I don't know what happened but they were terrors when they would come home from spending time with him. But this is his choice and he is the one loosing out.

Goudah ~ no neither of us have ever listened to her. I have heard her name, but that is about it. I am not sure where he got the sperm donar thing from, but he has been calling my ex that for a long time now. In fact, he calls my ex by his first name and calls my husband dad.

Cajun ~ Congratulatins on the adoption!!! That is great. My husband would have and still would adopt my kids, but my ex won't let him, yet he wants to gripe about the money. A couple of years ago when my son turned 16, he wanted to legally change his last name, at first my ex agreed then he changed his mind and said we had to take him to court. He would not contest it in court, but it had to go to court. Needless to say he and my son had a few strong words and my ex said if he wanted my husbands last name so much, why not have my husband adopt my son. My son asked him if he would sign the papers, and my ex said he didn't know...depended on his mood. My ex is such an ass! When the kids were small and we were first separated, he did send the kids cards and a few gifts, but I bet in the last 7 or 8 years he hasn't sent them anything, nothing for Christmas, birthdays, nothign. Oh wait, he did send my son a card for his birthday a couple of years ago, but it was not a card that said to my son...It showed a toothless man holding a possum on it! Of course there are no phone calls, no letters or anything like that and he took the kids off of his dental insurance because for 1 it isn't required for him to have them on it and 2, he has accepted the fact they don't want anything to do with him, so why should he do more than he has to. They don't do anything for him, so he feels he doesn't have to do anything extra for them. My husband has them on all of his policies, which helps a bunch. I am really thankful for my husband. He loves my kids as his own, in fact, he calls them his kids anyway and they use his last name on everything they can, except legal stuff, and they think of his as their daddy. My son turns 18 in June and has already told us, he will have his last name changed before he goes into the military so he can have his "fathers" name on his uniform. Me and my husband have not been able to have a child together, (long stories and a bit painful), so these are the only kids he will have and he could not love them or be more proud of them and he feels he is their dad even though they are not related by blood, which he is! Cajun, my hats off to you for what you have done for your stepson, who is now officially your son. I know it is hard sometimes, for I have seen my husbands struggles off and on, but as he has said, it is worth every minute of it. Again, congratulations!

Suebee ~ I cannot remember exactly how things are worded in my decree, but will be getting it out soon to be sure, plus be talking to my attorney (in VA because that is where the divorce was filed). Heck at that time, if he doesn't want to send it to me, he can put her name on it and we can put it into a savings account for her for college! Will let you know when I find out though.

Have you researched your laws referring to intrafamily adoption.I know in my state if there is no contact for 180 days or no support for 180 days,they have no legal right to contest.That is how our spermdonor got stomped.Another thing if you do go to court,children are able to testify after a certain age expressing their wishes.In my state,that age is 12.

When my son wanted to change his last name, we had an attorney who filed the paperwork, but for us to go to court, it was going to cost $3000, and that was along as there was not any protest to the name change. My ex does pay what child support he has to, but don't try to see the kids. It also has ticked me off for the past several years that he has got to claim on child on his tax returns, but it is in the divorce decree, so nothing I could do, even though the kids live with me 100% of the time. Like I said, my son turns 18 in June so at that point, my ex has no say about him. My son has informed me that neither my ex nor any of his family is to be invited to his graduation and he does not want them knowing he is going into the military or anything. Heck, I think the whole time I have been separated/divorced from my ex, my ex's family has not called the kids, (they don't want to talk to me or have anything to do with me, blah, blah, blah). My ex's mom use to send the kids savings bonds for Christmas, but she hasn't done that for years now. Again, it is for the best. But I still have a hard time understanding how people can be this way and shut their kids and grandkids out of their lives. After my daughter was born, my ex went and took care of the problem so we couldn't have any more kids because I refused to do it, (I wanted at least one more...always wanted a large family, but wasn't ment to be), anyway, these are the only 2 kids he is going to have (unless he has more out there somewhere from other relationships prior to me or during the time of our marriage). Oh well, like I said, his lost. The only good thing that came out of that marriage was my 2 beautiful kids. (He was abusive, more verbally than physically, but I did get hit a few times, once I was even pregnant with my son). Like I said, I am so thankful for my husband now...he treats me like I have never been treated before, he puts me and the kids first and makes time for the kids' activities and I have watched him at my kids' band concerts or my son's marching band compeitions and his chest sticks out so much with pride! Also, I have to give him his due, because he puts up with my moods, (hormonal from surgery and menopause all at the same time). LOL

My ex was also a a$$ but I took the money right from his check (not the DA) and he was a city employee so I knew he wasnt going anywhere. He also did not attend his sons High School Grad. But they now have a relationship. my ex blamed me for lack of comunication between him and my son. So when my son turned 18 (by the way he paid child support until grad day) and my son decided not to have contact for almost 6 more months my ex realized that is was him not me that cut the ties. I never stood in the way but also never pushed (I did when my son was young I tried to keep them close) But I always said my son had to make up his own mind. Now things are good between them all of a sudden my ex has enough to pay for school and that is fine with me. I got a ok amount ($830 a month)but he made over 100k) from him for the years he was suppose to pay.. I also never took alimony I didnt feel he owed me because I wanted out only to support his son so I guess I was one of the lucky ones never chased my support.

I don't know what is going to happen in the future with my kids and their biological father. Like you, don't encourage them or discourage them from having a relationship with their dad. I don't care what my feelings are for my ex, I always felt he was their dad and it was not my place to stand in the way if they wanted to see him or have anything to do with him. That would have been wrong for me to do it, but he did this to himself. My ex is one of those that is good looking, knows he is good looking and does not like to be tied down, but his personality makes him a very ugly person. He cannot commit to one person. He has been with I don't know how many women and about the time they get serious, he is gone, plus they have to look a certain way and like to party and I never fit that mold. I was never good enough so.... Like I said, he use to tell me he was ashamed to be seen in public with me and when I was pregnant, was almost embarrassed to be seen with me. He use to take the car seat out of the car because he never wanted people to know he had kids, I was not allowed to call him at work, would not let me get a second car, (we only had one and he had it all the time). I look back now and have thought he would have been happier if we never had had children and he was afraid that I would get pregnant again after our daughter was born so he decided, without me, that he was getting taken care of. But if the time comes that the kids want to have anything to do with him, that will be their choice and no matter how I feel, I will have to accept it and life will go one.

I am sorry for that 2nd Husband.. Mine was good to me really it was me I just never loved him the way I should have.. Long story.. But he did try to be a good dad and he is still trying.. I just had to let my son decide for himself. And they do get along now. But my son keeps the upper hand.
it was a bitter divorce and my son suffered and yes many women in my ex's life after me that my son had to go through until he (my son) got fed up.. I stayed single so I could be there for my son. Now he is 20 and I am alone but I do not regret what I did. But now it is my time to live.. and I am trying to do that.

Believe me, I was not looking when my husband (now) came along. I was content with my life at that point. We were together 2 years before we got married. I wanted to be sure I could trust him and I wanted him to be sure that he was ready for a ready made family. Next month is our 8th anniversay, but we will be together 10 years in June.. Already longer than my first marriage. It is hard when things happen and kids are involved. It is hard not to put them in the middle or talk about the ex spouse and stuff, but in the long run it is so much better for the child. Gives them the opportunity to decide for themselves. At least I can feel comfortable in knowing that they know that I never bad mouthed their "dad" to them or kept them from contacting him or anything.

i mean really you helped make the child it is also your responisible to help take care of the child. with an attitude like that the court should take your whole check for child support then you really have something to complain about!!!!!

Excuse me Blinkyberry...
Child Support helps support the child trust me if 830 paid for everything I would be sitting pretty that doesnt even cover the clothes or computers or school books.. Not worth getting upset about..

Blinky ~ if that was referred to me, let me explain something...I gave up over $100 in child support to get my divorce finialized, which still took a year to do, my ex was suppose to supply me with copies of his tax return, which he never did, so my attorney could see whether or not to ask for an increase. I supported my kids on $800 a month while he was out to sea, because he didn't have any checks to send his child support, (and had to make it up when he got back and I took him to court and he only had to pay it in $50 increments), I got left with all the credit card bills, etc when we separated and had to file bankruptcy so me and my children could live, he does not help pay for doctors visits when he is suppose to, I still get stuck with the whole bill, he does not help with anything extra for the kids. In fact his attitude was/is...they didn't need to be in scouts, play basketball, be in the band, go to music camp, etc. He thought it was a waste of time and money. Makes no attempts to contact his children, he has never kept promises to them, always breaking them, is ashamed of his daughter because she isn't a super skinny girl and told her one time that she was getting fat, which hurt her feeling big time and for the past 11 years, I have NOT...repeating NOT had an increase in child support. Any more I don't ask him for anything or expect anything for him. My husband now does more and has done more for these kids then their biological dad has ever done, even when the kids were babies! Both me and my husband forgo things for the kids. Heck, even my folks have done more for the kids then their so called father has done. I don't ask for the money for myself, but for the kids. Technically it is not my parents responsibility nor my husbands responsibility to support the kids. It is mine and my ex's. He makes twice as much as I do, and he wants to live high on the hog and not do a thing for these kids. The money he sends goes to help pay for their food, to keep a roof over thier head, keep the lights on, pay for their school supplies, clothes, medicines, glasses, etc...whatever is needed and let me tell you, what he pays doesn't even cover 1/2 of what it costs! I take care of my children. I am the one that is and has been up with them at night when they have been sick, been there when they have been in the hospital, been there at their school functions,supported them in their decisions, corrected them when they made a mistake, ect. I am the one that has taught them right from wrong, help them with their school work, teaching them to cook, how to be a good human being and where is he at??? Shacking up somewhere in Tennessee with his girlfriend going out on his jet ski or soaking in his hot tub or whatever, which is fine. He has chosen his path as far as not having any responsibility and I have chosen mine, which is to raise my children to the best of my ability and try to be the best mom I can be. I am not trying to be a witch or anything like that, not am I jealous of him, but just stating the facts. To me there are priorities, and the children should be the priority. I have not even gotten into what he did to me during our marriage and how things were when we separated. No, I was not perfect, but never ever did what he did to me or treated him like he treated me. But that is not the issue here. The discussion is child support....and as far as me "supporting" my kids, I support them in every way possible, financially, emotionally, physically, everyway and then some. Those that do not have to deal with child support issues a lot of times, do not know what all is involved. All they see is the "money" part and to be honest, so does my ex. So, with all this being said, if I choose to have an "attitude" and be ticked off once in a while because he choses not to participate and really help with his children, then with what I have been through and what my kids have been through, I feel I have that right. I understand that everyone has a right to believe what they want and have their own opinion. People just need to quit judging other people and coming down on them until they know the whole story. Like I said, for the past 11 years, I have not had one increase. He never stayed with a job long enough for me to warrant going after an increase and to hear...well the kids don't do this for me or that for my, so why should I do this or that for them? And because of this or that, well they hurt my feelings so I am taking them off my dental insurance...blah, blah, blah. I have a husband that made sure they kids were covered as far as medical and dental insurance goes because we knew that sooner or later my ex was going to pull something like this.

Now I am off my soap box and like I said, I am not trying to start anything but wanted the facts out there so you could understand. And yes like "poptart" said, if my $600 ($300 per child-that I have been getting for 11 years), covered everything, I too would be sitting pretty.

I hope that I have not offended anyone, for that was not my intention. I just wanted blinkyberry to understand where I was coming from. There are as many moms out there that do not take care of their kids as there are dads. I also know everyone's circumstances are different, but this, in a condensed version, is mine. I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that. I have the love and respect of my children, no matter how much we struggle sometimes and the love of my husband and that makes me the riches woman in the world. As far as my ex goes, what goes around comes around and it is sad, but it isn't me that is missing out, it is him and it is by his choice. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that no one was offended by my previous post.

please help me to make a letter of agreement regarding about child support thank you