My Story

If I was you I would be honest with your husband, and so he knows that you mean what you say, sit down with him and go through exactly what you have done, monies owed etc, cut up the credit cards, and have a weekly meeting together to see what bills need to be paid and pay them together. My husband and I share all the financial decisions in the house and because we are accountable to each other we tend to be more concientious in the financial decisions we make. if you are going shopping for anything go together until you are comfortable knowing that you can get what you NEED from the store not what you WANT. It will also show your husband that you are serious about wanting to change the situation you are in. It sounds like you and your hubby have seperate accounts is this so? I think if you sit down together and work it out you will be on the right track, if he walks away which is quite possible as you have done this several times, then learn from your mistakes and get a financial counsellor to assist you with the debt process or even a friend or family member who you trust to assist you. Good luck with everything...I hope you and your hubby can sort the situation out.

You may want to find good financial counsel first to help you begin sorting through your spending behaviors and putting together a plan based on your finances and not the requirements of your husband's for the time being - first to find your own way of paying your debt and secondly to help you change your pattern of behaviors so you will never find yourself in the same circumstances again. A good financial counselor will require you to do some personal homework which will help you begin to see your short-fall. In so doing, you will be better equipped to tell your husband while presenting your "own" solutions via the help of your financial counsel. Your husband should clearly see you are sincere in changing your behaviors because you have not come to him for a "fix"...but rather you have sought out your own help and are demonstrating your responsiblity to find your way to a solution that does not require him to do anything but support you. This my friend should never cause him reason to want to leave you but rather admire your willingness to accept responsibility and confess your spending behavior contritely but also with resolve and a "plan" to work your way back to a healthy financial place.

I hope this is a tiny bit helpful...
Denise

First I want to thank everyone for their inupt. It really made me stop and think about how unfair I am being to my marraige by not telling my husband what is going on.

I mailed all my paperwork/statements to the debt management company. I also called a couselor through our EAP at work to see if I can figure out why I keep doing this. I also sent applications out to try and get a second job on the weekends.

I really want to fix this myself, not only to show my husband he doesn't need to rescue me anymore but to show myself I can.

Good Luck to you, you are on the right track! Deniser is right, I had to learn new behavoirs and new ways of thinking to help me stay out of debt.

While it is true that I got into some of the debt out of necessity,had to eat, etc., alot of it probably could have been taken care of with other ways, and charging it.

We finally got second jobs, that money was small, but added to our money, helped get us out of debt, along with a little more responsibility on my part, especially since it wasn't the first time we had been there!!

Feel free to ask questions, we are here to help..karen

I told my husband this morning and it went much better than expected. He told me we will sit down and work out a budget and plan to get things paid. I feel so much better and like a huge weight has been lifted.

I am so pumped and excited to start working my plan and get the debt paid off.

Good for you! Honesty and openness has to feel so relieving. Let us know about your progress

Jmagee, what is CCCS, and what are they doing for you?

They are Consumer credit counseling Services of No. Colorado & So. Wyoming. They are a debt management/settlement company. I have opted for debt management to try and pay the creditors in full.

A little progess, I have closed my individual account and changed my direct deposit to my husband's account. He agreed to pay the doctor/dentists office since they are charges for the kids (which we both created last time I checked).

I have an interview on Monday for a second job two nights a week. My husband did offer to look into a loan at our credit union to pay everything off since his credit is still good but I told him it wouldn't teach me anything and I need to pay the debt off myself since I created it.