Surviving Life's Daggers

We were your typical California couple. We owned a modest heavy equipment rental company that my husband had worked to build from his teens. The first financial upset was my mother's cancer. She had to have her mortgage paid, but couldn't work. There wasn't a question. I made sure it was paid. She didn't survive. My sisters were unsettled, so I made a promise to look after my sisters. I wish I had never promised. In 1996, my husband was diagnosed with late stage IV oralpharangeal cancer (throat/head/mouth) and there isn't a stage V. Our HMO's plan was to let him die. Not the plan I had in mind. So, we mortgaged our paid-for home to the hilt and entered an experimental program at UCSD. Our baby was a month old when he was diagnosed. He made it, but it was $385K just for the treatments, not including medicine, aftercare, and following up. Our baby was born with sleep apnea and would stop breathing for alarming amounts of time.  We still  had our HMO, as the Department of Corporations wouldn't allow them to drop us. I went that far. When our child was four and weighed enough, an adnoidectomy was perfomed, but our HMO goofed. They gave our child enough anesthesia for a 198 pound man! It took days to come out of anesthesia and she was vomiting as she was wheeled from OR. She had to relearn everything, including sitting up, holding her head, grasping objects, etc. With eight years of physicians, OTs and PTs she is in regular school and has surpassed all expectations. Last year she received the label of being highly gifted. During this time, I have been home with her. I homeschooled her. She needed that full time care. In October of 2003, or home burned in the Cedar Fire. We thought we had enough insurance. Wrong. Then we learned that the City of San Diego had made an error. All of the property lines in our area crossed each other and they were all in dispute. We couldn't rebuild there. So, we had to once again take out a loan to buy another burned property to rebuild our home. Okay, so far so good. One hitch, our insurance company  would only pay for a rebuild in exactly the same spot, even though our city let us transfer the building permit to the new property. We took out a bigger loan. Much of our family's things were stored in a large metal container - things that had been in our family for generations that my oldest sister had kept for us all. The Pacific Beach Arsonist torched it, thinking it belonged to the building beside it. Everything was lost. We officially had no past. My sister repeatedly attempted suicide, but this was the last straw. She was fragile. In May of last year she succeeded in taking her life the very weekend we were to move into our "modular home." In October of 2007 we had the Witch Fire. It wasn't the fire this time that damaged our house, but the winds that the fire created. We lost our roof, outdoor structures, siding, decks to the trees that crashed down on them and a part of the back of the house. The house, oh I didn't mention that our builder, Champion/Genesis/Redman homes had a deal with our city wherein they only inspected the OUTSIDE of the house. The builder hired an independent company - RADCO to inspect the inside. Needless to say, the hot water heater is a danger. It's on the second floor without venting in my child's closet. We have not had hot water since we moved in a year ago. The ceiling is glued on, not screwed. Pipes were missing from the walls in the bathroom. Floors sag, walls buckle/bulge, the house leaks, etc. Electrical wires were so entangled under the house that AT&T couldn't hook a phone up. Reverse 911 only works with a land line here. When the fire came through we had no idea that the town had been evacuated and I left when the fire was the next hill over from across the street. We had five horses tied to a minivan and had to walk them five miles to the high school in the dark. Wires were arcing and there were downed trees everywhere. We spent five days at the high school where firefighters fed us and a deputy and friends brought hay for the horses. We were the only residents in town.Our contractor, Coastal Construction on  Old Highway 80 in El Cajon (Marshall and Wayne Lozier) never returned to finish the house. They waited the year out so that the statute of limitations would run out. They were paid, but bailed out. Wayne Lozier skipped and is in a place called Vernon, Montana running a home foreclosure seminar "help" thing. He's the best liar I've ever met. In order to pay the bills and be home with my daughter I had planned to open a home day care business. I can't do that with the house unfinished. We won't pass inspection. It isn't a safe place for us, let alone the children of other people. We are sinking fast. My husband just had his second hip replaced on Friday. The Thursday before my husband was advised that his prostate cancer (I forgot to mention that) was now a 10 on the PSA. His radiation starts in December. Next week we see if surgery is an option. He's on SSI, as is my daughter, and as am I as the caretaker. It sounds awful, but this is about not just taking it. You have to stand up and change what you can. This isn't over for us. The house isn't finished, but neither am I. I won't let us lose everything. I don't know how to quit. It does get better. WE make it better.