Does debt affects love life?

I think the stress of debt affects it. I mean if you think about it, it keeps you up at night, puts knots in your stomach. I would say yes defineatly it could affect your love life, it affects marriages every day.

You should put a poll question on this webpage, bet you get a lot of yes answers. You should see if they would let you put one on.

I'd say yes it can. Its all about the stress...the stress over the calls, the stress over 'how am I going to get money', the stress of 'what are they going to do to me'. It can wear you down & even make you ill.

Oh my yes, it did for us anyway. My husband and I before we were even engaged were facing my bad mistakes. He is a wonderful man who is very patient and understanding and sometimes, for me, that made things worse. I wanted him to be mad at me, and granted he wasn't happy at the situation, he wasn't upset with me. He didn't let it affect our relationship, but I did. Whenever I would get a call from a CA I would just cry and cry and my depression would worsen. Now multiply that 5 times a day at least. Thing is I needed someone to be strong for me, I just didn't realize it. Now that we're married, he agreed to pay off my final $3400 to my credit counseling company before we had our first child. It is wonderful to have that kind of support. I still have bad debts but no where near as bad as they were. So, I think that debt not only affects your love life, but life in general. This forum is so powerful because it can bring you to people who understand and truly care when you can't find support anywhere else!

I think that it will affect our life. You know that the rich means another word abundence. Abundance means security. We have security when we no longer have to worry how we will get the money for our basic needs and wants. We have security when our life is not dependent upon having and keeping a job - especially not a job we dread going to every day. We have security when there is more than enough money to take care of us, now and in the future. We have security when we know that our children will not have to live in impoverished neighborhoods and be exposed to bad influences. It is not wrong to want to have money. It is not wrong to want to marry someone who handles his or her money prudently. That is i quote from a friend at millionairematch.com.

One of the leading causes of divorce is money.

If I hadn't gotten control of my payday loans when I did, I would have lost everything, my marriage included because of getting myself into such a mess.

Sass, Isn't it amazing how these payday loans impact every aspect of our lives. If we only knew then what we know now, boy things would be different.

That's the truth kash! I can't think of any part of my life that they didn't affect! Work, home, school, etc...it all suffered because of the mess that I was in.

Still not everyone knows about this very secret part of my life. The lies I have told!!!!

I hear ya!! Some things not everyone NEEDS to know, either!!

Debt DEFINITELY affects your love life. There are men who have asked me out that I have hesitated to get involved with because of my financial situation (was bad at the time - is starting to get a little better now, but still not great) - I was ashamed and didn't want to tell them about it if we got involved seriously - to the point where it would become an issue.

Thankfully, I have met a man who is very non-judgemental on this issue. He's been through some hard times himself, so he understands that sometimes you have to do whatever is necessary to keep the boat afloat!

Sue, I know that feeling exactly. Debt should not be a shameful thung, but it feels like it is. I also have kept my financial situation a secret.You are so lucky to have met someone who understands. Not every ne does.

Oh what debt has taught me, it is that life is more important than debt, and debt itself can suck it right out of you if you let it.

oh god yes, debt can affect your love life. all that worrying, who can think about love? one the main reasons for both of my divorces was about money. my last husband was only concern about what i can do for him. not what we can do for each other. now he is married to a woman who has some money and a good job, nice home, but he don't really love her, just the material things that she has. my thing is when you both get thing together by going without and make sacrifices you will appreciate each other and what you got? (did i get off the subject?)

No, you're not off the subject. Yes, debt can affect your love life. Not only your love life, but your life. When all that is on your mind day and night is your money situation, your bills, your collection calls, etc., you actually begin to fall into a "tunnel". The "tunnel" doesn't let you see anything else. You go through your days on "auto pilot". You don't smile or laugh as often. You don't go spend time with friends and family. You don't do the things that you used to enjoy. You don't take notice of all the good things around you because you are totally consumed by this. It's on your mind constantly. Who can focus on anything else? Work? Marriage? Family? The beauty that surrounds you? You're surrounded by the stress, the anxiety, etc. of it all. You don't have the energy or the will to be "free" and enjoy things. You don't have the energy or will that is required to maintain a relationship, whether it be with a husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, family. It's sad and it's sickening. When you feel as though you have a 10 ton weight on your heart, how can you let yourself go to be free and enjoy?

Oh Cannr....I so agree with you...I could have said it exactly the same way. Money wasn't the reason for my divorce but it did play a big part in the back of it.

I also have the same feelings as SueBee...I am in better control now and will never make the same mistakes but I would hesitate to share the info about my finances with any man my age. By now I should be comfortable with savings and money put away for my future retirement. How will I explain that I don't?? It scares me sometimes to think that I might have to share my horrid financial past with someone.

morning, any person (whoever it may be) should accept you for the wonderful person you are. Not for your financial stability. If any person (whoever it may be) has issues because of someones financial situation,then "off they go". It's all about the person. Heck, I'm poor. If they're poor, too, so be it! We'll be poor together! LOL! I'd rather have someone who would accept me for who I am and what kind of person I am rather than how much money I have (which is none). Now, if THEY'RE rich.............NO! Just kidding! :D

Thank you Cannr...for your words and support...as always... :D

I think what experience has taught me is that integrity and honesty leads to higher self esteem and respect in any relationship and highlights the lovelife aforementioned and that there is always room for forgiveness and redemption! :lol:

Very kind and true words Hankspanky42.

thank you Luke--I feel that too much emphasis in our society has been given to monetary issues and the false value this supposedly gives you as a human being-my own personal biggest judge of character in past 20 years is how people who have mucho bucko money act and treat others who don't--debt is certainly a reason for stress in a relationship but if you weren't in it for better or worse --hey debt is not a one way street-- because your partner can't magically bail you out doesn't mean they aren't the person you fell in love with! Love in my opinion is the one cure and inspiration to get you through these challenges and if you get through the hard times--then it was worth the ride!

Amen :!:

i think debt does affect your love life because it's added stress. i know it's starting to cause problems between me and my boyfriend because i'm always worried about how i'm going to be able to pay this and how can we afford to plan and pay for a wedding.

yes i do believe that being in debt will affect your love life because that's just added stress worring about money and how you are going to pay for things. because i know i'm experiencing it right now because me and my boyfriend stay aruging about money how we are going to pay for things and still afford to plan let along pay for a wedding.

Debt has effected me in so many ways, and yes that includes my relationship. It will be a wonderful day when I can say that I am "debt free", but the way things seem to go, I don't know if that will ever happen.

Jen, I know the feeling. I am always feeling like I am trying to catch up. Everytime i think I am caught up something else rears its ugly little head. At first it put a huge wedge between my husband and myself because I did not tell him that I had taken all of these PDLs out until we were on the verge of losing everything. NOw we do the budgeting and finances together and we are actually closer as a couple now.

okay I hear where all are coming from but people --in my opinion--you must always keep in mind--love is free--it doesn't come with a price tag--if it is something that can be bought and sold then it isn't the real thing--love and knowing you are loved is in fact the one thing that will help you get through all of life's hardships--couple's who aren't in debt and have never had to worry about money --still have arguments about money --and often money causes big problems and STRESS in relationships--money is the root of all evil remember? It has nothing to do with being in debt--my advice to anyone here who is already arguing and feeling stressed about monetary issues--don't take it to the next level and marry this person--once you get married you have more responsibilities --bills-- children --future debt -- etc--if you are already arguing about bills and about how to pay for wedding--probably not a good idea to get married! I think!(and pybasj your debt may have initially brought you stress but sharing it with the one who loves you obviously brought you closer together and that is what love is all about!)I know we can't live on love alone --but when life gets tough those who have love in their life have a big huge tool to help get them through the hard times--

well i could write a book about this one. yes debt can affect your love life because i find myself getting angry every time i'm stressing out about money and i can't help it my husband tells me to stop getting mad about everything but how can you not get mad when you are the only one bring in income and you are tring to see how all the bills will get paid for the month and other household expensive. but the only thing that i can say is try your hardest to keep your relationship in tact and communicate with each other about the bills and what needs to be done to reduce the stress that it's causing.

You bet it does, imagine having to ask your wife/husband
if you can borrow money but can't tell them why.The answer
is because I was foolish and took out loans with pdls and other
loan shark type of companies to cover this or that expense.
When I could have come to her earlier and simply borrowed the money to cover expenses etc. etc.Then you get read the
riot act and told this could jeopardize our relationship.Not only
that stress but the stress of getting calls at work then losing
sleep because you are trying to count every cent you have
to cover every little expense.I don't honestly know of any other kind of stress that beats worrying about money.Even though I did have to borrow money from my wife once she found out what the problem is she has been by my side ever
since and keeps me on the right track towards paying back
my creditors.Yes my credit is taking a hit due to my own foolishness but at least I have my marriage in tact.Both of us
have been married before and the main reason for divorce
for both of us is once again money.