child support

candiceann - you need to take this matter to an attorney that handles child support evasion. If your ex is able to work, has no physical or mental impairments that keep him from working some sort of job, then your attorney should be able to take action that will push him into getting a job and paying the support required. Don't try to handle this on your own.

Best of luck to you! :D

Candiceann - what state do you live in? Do you have a court order for your child support? If you do go right to the child support department and have them work on your behalf. Some state will put the fool in jail until they pay some will pull their drivers' liscence. My idiot owes me over 20k and the county that I live in really is not as agressive as it can be by law, but I just keep after them and I bug my caseworker. I have had 15 caseworkers in the last 15 years, some good some bad, the worst one told me that I would be receiving child support when he retires! Also my idiot does not file taxes - which would be sent to me by the irs. Make sure that your caseworker has your fools' taxes flagged - this could help.

I agree you need to take steps to collect.. one thing I thank my lucky stars My ex NEVER missed a payment.. as a matter of fact the day I got the ammount he had to pay he handed me a check for 6 months Child support and my alimony.. I continued to collect Child Support but never asked for another penny for alimony.. if he could help me out by giving me the 6 months I could be a stand up person and not collect alimony.. BUT his child was his child and for that I needed help.. I was very lucky.

Candice - IL hits dead beat dads pretty hard - Lisa Madigan has always gone after them.

From what I've seen, it's best if they send their support checks directly to the state and the state then pays you. This way, emotion is taken out of the picture and the child does come first, right?

we were divorced in indiana, i live in illinois & he lives in texas....i can have him put in jail but then i'll never get paid, he is a truck driver by trade and i would hate to have his liscense suspended, because once again i'll never get paid.

you are very nice.. He gets to run around doing as he pleases while you get to figure out where the next dollar is going to come from to feed your kids.. They have a work release program.. Dad's that dont pay child support get to work all day to get caught up and sleep in the jail at night and on their days off.. after a short time they get out and most will pay from that point on..
I am sorry but I really believe that Dad's or Mom's that are not the custorian parent have to contribute to raise the kids.. and frankly not just with $$$ they need to be around for the kids..

Candice--

I know what you are going through. My daughter's father has a court order to pay child support and he still only pays when he feels like it. He has had his driver's license suspended and the only way he got them back was to pay all the arrears, plus one month in advance. Once they have been suspended one time already, the child support agency does not have to warn him that his license are about to be suspended. They can just log into the system and suspend them and then the BMV will send a letter stated that his driving privileges have been revoked. He even had the nerve to still drive when they were suspended b/c I seen his dumba$$.

Candiceann! Turn him over to the State of Indiana, get it over with. Throw him in jail? Nay, we'd have to foot the bill for him unless Texas shipped his butt back to Iniana. However if you let the State handle it, you got your support regardless. I PAID child support, provided insurance & alimony though I never figured out why! she was the one that missed her teenaged yrs, not me and....I worked two jobs to do it!

Maybe I'm one of kind......shesh!

texas, what do you mean? you paid her support but raised your children?

not so sure he cares if he goes to jail, but, my children would hate me for putting there father in jail.

I paid child support, four yrs worth, also paid her a year & a half of alimony....paid for medical, dental & vision for the whole damn crew....worked a full time job (it paid for all that) & chased down bad boys & girls at night & on weekends to cover my living expenses.

Hand his butt over to the State, let them worry about whether he's working or not, anything else he does or tries to do, the IRS will levy his refunds.

Your children will have financial support their entitled to & you baby will have a lot less stress in your life. And? If he goes to jail he'll have to work anyway unless the ACLU has turned prisons into playgrounds, he'll have a cot & three hots, medical, dental, yada...

Sorry, I can't stand a man that sires children then decides, "I a'int paying that *%$#* a dime" ! Where's muh hoss & rope.........


*chuckle*

Texas,
I KNEW there was a reason I liked you... :lol: If more men decided that the kids didn't get there by themselves and it does take two to tango, then there WOULD be a lot less stress in the world.
I think my husband was probably a better parent than I was when my girls were little--and they have grown up more adjusted for having the love and support of their father and mother as a result.

There is such a thing as child support? I've never seen a dime of child support.

Then......you betta haul that lawyer's buns into court and sue the be jesus outta him/her for malfesance, deriliction of duty, yank that diploma off their wall, stuff it up sideways & I mean do it hard up his/her tail yada yada.........oops!


*chuckle*

thanks ks........LOL

I know I'm new here but my dad owed my mom over 125 thousand dollars for me and Iowa wouldn't do much as she wasn't on any assistance so she filled out papers for Support Kids.com and they spent over a year locating him but when they did he was thrown in jail and now he's paying the back he owes for me... he went 27 years and not a dime... my mom was a saint as she also didn't want to deal with the guilt of putting him in jail etc. but when Support kids caught up with dead beat dad he said he thought Iwas dead or my step dad adopted me... the workers at support kids told him bull you would of been notified either way.. then mom got tough and is holding out for all he owes now... what a jerk he was... support kids hounds the dead beats and has the resources to track them... good luck to anyone who needs help getting back support... there is some hope out there..

I won't even get started too much on ex's and child support. My ex has not seen the kids in 5 years, last time he talked to my son it was almost 2 years ago when he went back on his word to let my son change his last name, (my son was 16 at the time). My ex would let my son do it, if we took him to court knowing that I did not have the money to do it. My son went off on him big time and laid into him about not being a dad and being a part of their lives, not calling, etc. Of course my son heard "well you don't call me so..." Who is suppose to be the adult here??? I ended up taking a decrease in child support and gave up almost 2 years of my spousal support to get my divorce finalized (because I was running out of money to pay my attorney to fight everything). That was 12 or 13 years ago and to this day I have not had an increase in child support. He changes his jobs or quits and goes on unemployment, or something. My son turns 18 in June and I am needing to get back a hold of the attorney that did my divorce and see if my ex will have to pay the full amount in June, if he has to pay at all or is it prorated. We divorced in the state of VA. He sends me a check directly since he has gotten out of the military and for the most part has been pretty good about it and he does have the kids on his medical insurance, although he decided to take them off his denal, without telling me and I didn't find out until I took them in for checkups, (thank goodness my husband now has them on his insurance), but he has not helped with any other medical expenses or anything over and beyond what he pays in child support, meaning no Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, cards, nothing. I, like candice, have tried to be nice and it has gotten me no where.

Candice, I say go after his butt and make him pay. I learned the hard way that being nice most of the time does not work.

Sorry, but nothing fires me up worse than those that won't take care of their kids and basically act like they don't exist until it is convienent (sp) for them!!! :evil:

Like I said, it takes two to tango...

And sometimes, that dance is only about 30-40 seconds long.

:D

I think that my ex takes the cake. We were divorced over 16 years ago and at the time my son Michael was very ill and about8, the twins were just going on 2. The ex saw them rarely and was when he did he was none to happy - I had it written in the divorce that he could see them 24/7 as long as he was sober! His seeing the kids did not last long at all. His son was constantly in the hospital and he couldn't even tell anyone what was wrong with him - he did not know because he wasn't part of the kids life. At this point he had not seen the kids for about 7 years, that is until Michael died. Michael was 16, the twins were 7 1/2 and he saw them for 3 days, made lots of promises and went out drinking. Now the topper is this - here it is 10 years later, one of the twins was standing on the corner by their school waiting for the bus and their father drove right by him, look at him but did not even recognize him - how sad is that! This is the man who owes me over 20k! I keep after him by calling child support every few months, I bug the hell out of them! I here from people that after all of these years that he still refers to me as the queen b@#$ch and that I keep his kids from him - he goes to a bar about 5 minutes from here every day. Now that the twins are 18 - one of these days I will take them in there and introduce him to his beautiful offspring. They refer to him now as the sperm donor!

Candiceann,

Get a job, quit mooching and take some responsibility in your life.

Is that all you joined the site for, vaco? :shock:

ehhhhhhhhhhh heh!

Vaco - do you know what it is like to have a jugdement for the minimum amount of money while you are taking care of three small kids one of them critically ill and knowing that your ex is sitting in a bar drinking top shelf booze, buying dime bags of pot and you are feeding your kids potaoes because that is all you can afford. Getting a job that allows you to take care of you kids is next to impossibe especially when nine out of ten times day care is more than you take home pay, or you loose your job because you have to keep taking time off because you kid is ill and you have to take him to the hospital. Not to mention the cost of parking at hospitals and the gas that it takes to get there and then finding someone to watch the other kids while you are there because the ex is TOO BUSY with his other family - jack daniels and all of the other guys!
Child support is just that - money to support the child - you know food, clothing , a roof over their heads. Nine out of ten times the courts only order the minimum which now doesn't even buy adecent winter coat and boots! I don't know where you get off, but I am sure that you sit around the bar complaining about the money gubbing b@#$ch that you were married to. Just prove that she was right in getting rid of you - she's much better off. But remember - a case worker once told me that if I don't see what is owed to me while the kid are young - I will be getting it all back when the ex retires - social security will be flagged by child support just like the irs does.

If she has a court order, she doesn't need an attorney. Go to the state and get yourself set up in their system. They pay you the support and go after him. All of the states have agreements for collection. Indiana will contact Texas. If his license is his means of providing support, they won't pull it. They will garnish his wages. Unless he's an independent trucker working for himself. If that's the case then you have problems.

The child support agency still had my daughter's father's license suspended and he needed his license for a trucking business. Once he realized they were suspended, he paid up, or he would have lost his job.

Texas, you are my kind of man!!!! LOL... Its good to hear about a man that takes responsibility for his actions. My ex was supposed to pay child support but when he did, he only paid 1/3 of his share. He told me that it was all that he could pay. I knew that he made a lot of money, under the table, so I cold never prove it. I took what he gave me, and made the best out of it.

My ex remarried a woman who was the niece of the then govenor of the state. She was the beneficiary of 2 trusts and made over $50,000 a year. My ex did with her what he did with me after we got married -- quit working. He convinced her and her relatives (some of whom are prominent attorneys in my state) to invest in a business he started up. Five months later, the business is failed and missing over $100,000. She made him get a job.

Everytime he exercised his visitation and took the kids, they always came home terrorized. He was obviously applying his own form of psychological damage. We always had huge fights over the phone after that. Then one day he called up and said that if the kids wanted to see their father, they could call him. They never did from that day forward.

he never worked while we were married and was able to get off with paying only $75 per kid per month and no help with the daycare. My kids and I won't forget the day he drove up to the homeless shelter after we became homeless. He was riding a brand new candy-apple red BMW cruiser and he was all decked out in leather gear. He dropped of a bag of apples and bread and the child support check. When all of this was going on, I didn't realize that a bunch of guys from the men's shelter were gathering around us. When my ex left, the guys asked who he was. I told them it was my ex. One guy said, "And he lets you be here?" Another guy came up to me and very quietly said, "We can change all of this for you, just say when." I actually had to stop and think before responding, but I told them "No. Let him create his own hell here on earth."

My oldest son got married just under 2 years ago. His father was intentionally not invited.

emmmmmmmmm............ :shock: :shock: :shock:

Excuse me Vaco, but I do work 50-60 hrs a week and have worked everyday for the last 20 years. Who in the world are you calling a moocher. Let me guess your also a deadbeat dad. Did I hit a sorespot hun? I hardly think trying to collect some advice from people who know a little something is mooching....please crawl back in your hole and stay there.

I think that we hit a nerve - hey for all we know - maybe his ex is one of us on this forum and he is just shooting his mouth off because that is what he does best.

I have read all your stories and they bring me to tears. I really have no clue how these men can sleep at nite...well wait a minute yes I do...they can sleep at nite because they know there are strong women like us taking care of their children, so they don't have to. Here is a little story about my childhood. My parents divorced when I was in third grade. Dad worked for the Railroad, also Part Time Real Estate Agent, and owned a Snow Plowing Business. Well he never paid my Mom child support..ever. I got ahold of him when I was 19, I wanted him to see his first Grandchild. Well I was invited to his Lavish, Beautiful home. Chandeliers and all, really breathtaking. Well when I got home, I called my mom, gave her his address and phone number and she sued him for all the back child support...he had to sell that wonderful home that him, his lovely wife and new children lived in and had to pay my mom every dime. Bottom Line it will catch up with them sooner or later.

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: Read this post and had to share my exp. with yall.

By the way,I am MALE! I recently adopted my stepson by court order since his sperm donor has done very little for him. I have been his dad in everything but name since he was three,he's 15 now!

I actually put this man in jail and was gonna throw away the key,but then I thought he isn't gonna pay as long as he is cooling his heels in there.He has been paying $200 month since 1996. Our attorney almost fell out his chair when he found out.

He was like you should be getting three times that.I told him hell we lucky to get what we have.
At our hearing he brought 8 witnesses to claim we prevented him visitation and the only words that were true was name and address.Thank God we had a judge that deals in facts and now my oldest has the same last name as his brother & sister.

That hearing was hard on him watching all the lies,but he learned what a real dad does,not a donor!!!

one *atta boy* for bulldog!


*chuckle*

I admire you Cajun! You're right, you are a MAN! Mys husband and I married when my son was 5 years old, he's now 33 and disabled. He has always trated him like blood, and his and my child. My ex did pay child support, but that was it,very little contact over the years. I recently sat in a jury pool for a case incolving some guy that was over fifteen thousand bechind in his support- and the jury gave him 4 years in prison. My friends hubby was well over that amount due in back support,all he did was do jobs under the table and not file and move alot-they never have made him pay. It takes very little to produce a child- but takes a whole lot to being a father. Just think Cajun- you were blessed by getting to see the child grow into a wonderfull person-he will miss all of that--his loss :D Karen

I tip my hat to you bulldog, men like you are few and far between.

I was also a lucky one Mine paid every month and a sizable amount. BUT never a penny more never a pair of shoes or a haircut. But I dealt with that. Now my son is 19 and his father is paying 100% of his education. So as much as I hated my ex and he hated me for many reasons I always try to remember that he was a good dad and still is...
I always told my son that your dad loves you he just shows it different then I do.. :)

I salute the ex's that are doing what they are suppose to do as far as taking care of their kids, paying what they are suppose to pay, and being a part of their childrens' lives. Some of us do not have ex's like that.

:D I thank all of you for the atta boys. Sometimes he is more my son than my other two.We are so close and have a very close relationship built on mutual trust.He has known from a very early age that he can talk to me about anything with no worries of backlash or rapid judgement. He knows daddy was the devil in hiding when I was his age :twisted: so there would be no point in trying the old wool over the eyes trick!