suicidal and depressed

Girl!!! You will get out of this! Remember the saying...just when you think you have it bad there are always people going through worse!

Do not even think about ending your life over some damn debt! I have over 80K and can barely pay on it due to my husbands death from Cancer I was left without his income. While I worry, I never thought about ending my life over it.

Try to settle the debt, file BK, consolidate, try getting on the hardship programs many CC companies offer. There is a way out!!!!

The first thing you should do is discuss the situation w/ your husband, then have your husband discuss w/ his CO and HR. Military HR can be forgiving about military families joining debt programs. You then have to get out the mindset that having too much debt and possibly bad credit doesn't make you any less of person.

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation, and it will get better! You just have to take it one day at a time, and try not to get yourself too worked up over it.

Yes you do need to talk to your husband about this. Sooner rather than later. He may be upset, but this is something you will both need to work through. Sit down and go through your finances, and you both can come up with a plan how to tackle those balances.

Also, is he deployed right now? If so, the Serviceman Civil Relief Act also extends to you, and creditors cannot sue you while he's deployed.

I completely understand your situation all too well. debt is depressing and will effect your health. My debt literally made me ill. sick to death with worry. I ended up using a company myself (they took a % of what was settled no upfront fees)
But there is light at the end of the tunnel and no debt is worth your health or life. in 2-3 years you could no longer have any of these debts and it will be just a horrible memory. On a good note it may be awful know, but you will remember how you felt and if you are like me you will be determined to never let it happen again. If you need any support please let me know! Im a good listener!

You have recived excellent advice form all the members. Please share this with your husband.

Hi there,

Just wanted to share some encouragement. If I could get in touch with you, I would but we can't share personal info on this blog. We have much in common.

I was going to school to be a court reporter / stenographer. School closed literally overnight when I was months from finishing. I went to school full time for 5 years to make it happen . . . all while also going for a degree.

Needless to say, didn't get the degree and can't work without passing the state test. Left on my own to try to accomplish getting to the last speed without the motivation of school and teachers and passing that state exam which has not been possible. Ive tried getting a job and have heard nothing back. Two young kids, tons of debt, and my husband is military retired with a good job but we're literally living paycheck to paycheck on his salary alone.

We have recently had to start charging our gas, and sometimes our groceries. We are in about $85000 in debt on credit cards alone.

Some of our bills are a bit behind like the cell phone bill, utilities, and personal loans. The credit card bills alone take most of the money every month aside from the mortgage. We're barely treading water at this point.

I finally had to stop paying citibank which is my own personal credit card. I have a 11,000 balance which has gone to over 12,000 thanks to the lovely fees they've add on! I was trying to work with them and they handed me over to a lovely collection agency UCB which have harrassed me on a few occasions.

Thanks to this site, I have my dignity back and don't plan on digging my head in the sand any longer. The current state of the economy has many people in the same situation as us.

Tell your husband . . . for your sanity! If you can't pay, then you just can't pay. Keep that roof over your babies heads and keep food in their bellies. Everything else at this point is secondary. We simply can't give what we don't have.

I'm personally hoping to go into a debt negotiation plan but I have to first convince my husband that paying the credit cards should be secondary to our shelter and food!

And whatever happens, remember to keep your head up high and know that nothing is worth taking your life over!

I really hopes this helps. Maybe we can figure out a way to get in touch.

Pray.

I come to this website almost every day for my own personal growth and your title stood out to me. I don't know you but I feel like I do just by reading your story. I am going to start off by saying that I am not perfect by no means...no one is. My first question is do you know God? Many people may frown upon that but I am a strong believer of the say "He will NEVER put more on you than you can bare." Life is a blessing in itself. You were blessed with 2 amazing spirits (your children). Even though you are in debt with those companies, still consider yourself truly blessed because you were allowed that much money. And always remember communication is the key... you can only pay them what you can afford. I would type up a letter explaining to them that you are not refusing to pay but you can only afford x amount. They can't say that you refused to pay. True enough you borrowed the money...so what...life changes...and so does different situations in peoples lives. Your household comes first...meaning you take care of home FIRST and whatever is left over send it to them. If you don't have anything left over what can you do? Like my mother would say "You can't get blood from a turnip". I pray that God give you the spirit of Life. You are here for a reason and I can promise you it's not to worry about debt. Pray and have faith everyday...Prayer is the key faith unlocks the door. If you have never tried Jesus...try him now. Enjoy you life with your children and husband...they need you more than you know.

GOD BLESS YOU!!! R.H.

I agree with the above posters who suggest to talk this over with your husband. It really, really takes a huge weight off your shoulders to come clean to the people closest to you. Your husband will be able to help you through this emotionally. I also was trying to hide my financial problems, because I was embarassed. But when I finally let it all out, my whole outlook on life changed because I had the emotional support of my family and that made a HUGE difference.

Dear Maam,

I encourage you to watch "The Secret". You may find that your life can and will change. You and only you are the captain of your ship. Decide to make this trip a beautiful one and it is done.