Taking Responsibility

rdsiv,

I take no offense to your post at all. I got myself into my own debt mess, including the payday loan trap. You are right when you say those lenders are in a different class. They were the worst collectors that I had to deal with and I was working with a debt consolidation company at the time. I did not run away but I fought back for what was legally owed in my state and to be treated fairly. Now, I am out of that mess and trying to clear up my other debt issues with the help of a debt settlement company. I recently had to work with my own auto loan company because money was getting tight making both payments. I called them, told them my situation, and they were happy to work with me. There are some creditors that I have now that I probably won't deal with again. Again, that was from me being in my own fog. I agree the site promotes taking care of business. I just want to see people treated fairly as well. Thanks for you post.

I agree with much of what you said and don't take any offense. Like Mish, I blame myself for mistakes I made. I was so appreciative of the companies that wanted to help me and work with me. I was NOT pleased with the ones that threatened me and make impossible demands. At no time did I say I wasn't going to pay - I just asked for help. The few that were jerks - I just did what I could and ignored their calls. I tried and they didn't budge. I paid them at the level I offered. I'm sorry it wasn't good enough, but they got their money.

I too agree with much of what you say. The most glaring point I do not agree with is that most agencies will work with you. I have found that most of them won't work with you and want what they want when they want it.

Thanks for not taking what I said in the wrong way... Trust me, I've been in a pickle many times... and am in one right now with a few creditors... I just (like many others) know both sides of the issue. If someone hasn't ever worked in collections it is very hard for them to see that their situation (though dire to them at the time) *sometimes* isn't nearly as bad as they may percieve it to be. I am amazed every day how many people will not respond to my offers of assistance & seem to just "choose" to be stuck in debt or risk losing their transportation out of ego or pride. I stress everytime I talk to a customer that "communication is very important if we are to work with you." This is not something I came up with on my own... the company I work for demands we work with the customers until there is no other choice. (and there are many other companies out there that are moving toward this philosophy thank God!) Unfortunately I think that some customers think they have a *right* to not pay a bill for 90 days or more and get angry & say that we are not working with them... I disagree... I've had to turn in 2 vehicles in my life and drive old beaters, ride a bicycle, walk, ride the bus... and I lived thru it. Sometimes getting out of debt means we have to make tough decisions. I find in my line of work that many don't choose to make those tough choices they feel compelled to keep up with the jone's. Once again, it is such a breath of fresh air to see this site where most are not making excuses, but are taking action!! Thanks again for letting me post.

I agree we put ourselfes in debt and we should pay our loans off.
What I don't agree with is the person who was hit by a drunk driver and can not work for the rest of his or her life and loses everything and the bill collectors say sorry but we are taking you to court
Some cases can not be helped,and as far as talking to them that does not always work,I called discover before I was falling on my debts and told them I have some emergencys and have been out of work and or they please lower my interest rate so I can at least keep paying on this account and they said sorry no.
Don't get me wrong I do agree with you up to a point.

I run a daycare and I hear every story under the sun why people can't pay me. Trust me, very few people who owe money in this country, including me, have been hit by drunk drivers, etc. I have a hard time making ends meet and can't understand why people think I can just "wait a couple of weeks" to get paid. Everyone who owes money, and believe it, I owe PLENTY myself, and am in debt consolidation, would like to have everyone be patient with them. Yeah, yeah they already have millions of dollars. but, it only makes sense for them to get as much as possible for payments on late bills. After all, we did spend the money. It ALWAYS about the money. If you went to work on payday and they told you they could only give you a partial paycheck, you would BE way mad and try real hard to get the full paycheck, one way or another, even if you could get by without it all for "a couple of weeks."

Sister Jo, do you run the daycare out of your home? I know you must have times when they won't pay for one reason or another. That's a difficult business to run.

It is hard. I have had to quit people because they don't pay. They get mad, they beg, they tell me I am ruining their lives. I am not just talking about people with limited incomes, there are also people who vacation in the Bahamas every year and drive expensive cars. So, even though I have been very upset with collectors, I can understand that they are going to try and get as much as they can. I myself have laughed in the faces at parents who want to pay me $10 a week till they pay me off. Now, in the next couple of months I'll be hearing the standard "when I get my taxes back I'll catch up." I am sure collectors hear that all the time. I have hated collectors too, as much as all of you. But, the more I think of it the more I understand.

You are running a hard business. I couldn't do it. I had a child care provider who was always asking me for money because her other parents weren't paying her. I told her I feel for her situation, but I am not paying for other's child care expenses. Do you have them sign contracts? I would do that, it protects you, you can then take them to small claims court.

I have contracts but it is hard. Some of the lower income families have a hard time, and I understand and try to work things out for them. But, I can only do so much. I have made my own financial mistakes, so I have empathy, but I also have bills that have to be paid. The worse part is that I get attached to the kids and I hate to let them go. I have cried many tears over those little ones leaving on such a bad note. I will probably get out of this business soon. It is not the kids that make it hard, but the parents.

Do you accept Title XX? That's a way to ensure some payment from low income families if they qualify.

Yes, I have. But, there are plenty of people out there that don't qualify and have a hard time making ends meet. Beleive me, it is not just the working poor that have a hard time paying. I have just as much problem with those who are professional people with good-paying jobs. I also have had plenty of parents that pay on time no matter what.

rdsiv,

I know what you mean about giving up stuff. It is hard to do but very possible. It's trying to keep up with the jones' mentality that has landed me in my own financial messes through the years. This forum has been a big help to me with changing that attitude. I don't live out of my means anymore. I haven't used a credit card in months and I really don't miss it. If I don't have the cash to pay for it, I just don't need it that week. I set some money aside each from my paycheck for my savings account. My hubby and I have also set up an envelope system that we use through the week for different expenses. Once it's gone, it's gone. I used to buy my books all of the time. Now, I go to the library where they are free. It's kind of fun because you can get very creative with different things. Sure, there are times that I would love to go on a shopping spree but paying the electric bills seems more important to me these days. My hubby has a cell phone that is really old but it still works. He can turn it into the cell phone company for a new phone. He said he likes it so I leave him alone about it. This year I have learned what is truly important in life.

Guest:

I appreciate your posts. You are right. Communication is everything. I have been able to work with some collectors just by explaining my circumstances to them. That's the kind of collector you want to work with because they genuinely want to help you work out a plan.

Mishele, that's so funny about your envelope system. I had that system 30 years ago, before direct deposit and debit cards, etc. I would go to the bank, cash my check and put the money into my different marked envelopes. Also on the envelope, I put my pay dates. As I paid things like insurance and rent, I would mark them off on the envelope. I paid the utility bills at the bank when I cashed my check. I would come home and put the receipts in the designated envelopes and check the pay day they were paid on. And, as you said, when it was gone, that was it. I also had an "Extra" envelope. Whatever money was left went in that envelope, and that is what we used for entertainment, ordering in, etc. My oldest son told me I should go back to that system. I might. It really worked for me. I didn't know anybody else used that system!