extreme debt

You should have no problems in paying off your debts under professional help. Maybe, you can consider a debt consolidation plan or a debt settlement, in case the amount is huge. The payments in the settlement plan will be lower in comparison to debt consolidation. Speak with a debt counselor for your best options. He will analyze your monthly expenses and set a repayment plan for your debts. You won't have to involve your husband in paying your share.

Are the debts all under your name? If so, it should be no problem not involving him. Would he leave if he found out, sometimes it helps just to be honest and he can be your shoulder and help you through this. It is not good to have secrets in your marriage, it just adds to the stress. Just a thought.

I agree with Fedu. Marriage is about understanding. Talk to your husband about your debts. Two things can happen when you discuss about your situation. Either he will listen to you or he will not show any interests. You will know how to react after seeing his expressions. At least, you will make him realize that you don't hide anything from him and do care about his feeling down.

I think it would also help to get an accurate picture of where you really are at by writing down everything that you owe and compare that to the money that's coming in at this time.
Remember to always put basic needs first (housing, lights, food, etc) and then work on getting that debt down.

I am sorry that you are struggling in debt like you are and I wish that I had a magic wand to make it all disappear so that your husband would not find out. Unfortunately, one of the causes of divorce in this country is finances. I think that at first you need to be honest with yourself that you have a problem with the debt and then be honest with your husband. You expect the same from him. If he is a strong man, then he might be able to help you. Trust me, it is not good to keep secrets of your debt from those who may be able to help you.

Next, I would recommend that you contact a debt counselor. Hopefully, you have registered on this board and someone has already called you to discuss your options.

It would also help us tremendously here on the board if you can tell us what kind of debts do you have. You may be able to get some information on the message board on how you might be able to deal with each company that you have a debt with.

But foremost, you need to be honest with your husband. This is too much of a heavy pressure to be holding on to by yourself.

I hope this helps and keep posting to give us updates.