Depression

Just know that you are not alone. Although I don't have a family to support right now I still get depressed about my money situation. If I could go back in time and go about things differently, I defiantly would. I graduated 5 years ago and I'm working my butt off working two jobs almost 80 hours a week and i never get to enjoy my money. I am trying to battle 14 PDL's and I have about 8 credit cards knocking down my door. On top of that I have several things in collections as far as old utility and medical bills. Not to mention everyday living expenses along with rent, cell, utlities, car, insurance, etc. It kills me to see all my friends get new cars and have mortgages and go on fun vacations all the time, while I'm working two jobs making good money and i'm always broke. I lost my best friend because of my financial situation. I had to borrow a decent amount of money from her and I had a hard time paying it all back to her before her wedding. That was a very low point for me and also a wake up call. I'm having a hard time seeing the light, but I know it's there and I won't stop until I have to put sunglasses on. Just remember you have a family who loves you so much and a little boy that looks up to you. Just that alone will help you get to that light.

Thank you so much pinklady. I appreciate it. I also have my mother and father and the rest of my family, and I know they love me very much, but I'm so disappointed in the choices I've made financially. I should have head my head on my shoulders and I just feel like I'm a disappoint to everyone I know. I think it's more that I'm a disappoint to myself. I've worked since I was 16 non stop, gone to college (one time at two colleges at once while working two jobs), gotten married, continued college, had a baby, continued college and now I'm almost done with it. I sit and look at what I write, and I know that I'm just having a pity party for myself. I just do not want to let anyone down. I'm harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. I feel like I should have accomplished more with my life by now. I'm 28, but I have one friend who is now a doctor. I'm not jealous of her success, but I should be right there with her on the success wagon. However, she does not have a wonderful husband or kids. She's alone. I have that over a lot of people I know.

Gallopy-Hang in there. There probably isn't one of us who have hit bottom,me,more than once.Don't look back on the past with regret,it's gone.Only look back with the thought that,what can I learn from the choices I mad then,and do something different. My husband and I lost our home,cars,everything years ago. Within 5 years I lost my dad,grandparents 6 aunts and uncles and 5 cousins.The problem was,I didn't learn from my choices and got to repeat them again and again. Today is what counts,yeah,we are broke,but I have started a new life-one of responsibility and trying to make reparations in my life. Slowly I am getting rid of my debt.But learned I can't compare my insides with someone elses outside,because I always fall short. Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.in the meantime,enjoy your family-tha is really what matters most,Good luck :D ...Karen

Gallopy I was on the phone with my mom last night feeling pretty much the same way. I'm 25 and still need to cry to my mommy sometimes! It's like she always says this is the only temporary, and this too shall pass. I felt so ashamed after taking out all those stupid loans. I have a masters degree good job and none of that mattered. One thing I know is that most people who take out payday loans are hardworkers how else could we afford all of these fees, and we are usually trying to "fix" things ourselves. Eventually it just catches up with you. I am so glad I found this site it has really made a difference. A few weeks ago I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and though things still aren't the best at least I have that support. Thanks everyone

Have you ever heard the word that regrets - they don't work, they only hurt. So, if you start thinking your bad days of the past, it will only make you feel sadder. There were some good moments also in the past. Think about those that can make you feel better. You have a wonderful family because of your noble deeds in the past. Look at them, they will always stand by your side. I have made some bad choices in the past and it took me long to come out of the mistakes. I feel strong enough to forget about those mistakes because they have nothing to do in my present life.

I feel where everyone is coming from. When I got into getting out PDL, I knew the only thing that could happen is to hit rock bottom and its sad. The bad part about me owing the money I owe, its the fact I did it for my mom who need the help and still isn't working. It was hard but you got to do what you have to do. Just like you mention quietrain we are all hardworkers who got caught up in a rut right now and the PDL were the way to temporarily get out of the situations we were in. I been feeling depressed as well with the fact I see everyone around me with their homes and their cars and everything and I got a degree in accounting 26 still struggling and its hard. Now its up to me to get out of the PDL situations so I can focus on getting my life back together. I want to do real estate on the side but I want to buy a foreclosed home and move into one and get my life started. We all want the better things in life and we will get there it will be a battle but this site has been a godsend and for everyone that keeps posting on the site should feel good there is an end. Thanks everyone as well :)

I agree with you all. This site has been a godsend to me also. I was once in the same place as you are Gallopy just a few weeks ago. I found this site and things are beginning to look a lot better. Its gonna be slow moving, but just think of the long term. This site taught me not to let those pesky PDLs keep me depressed. This site also helped me to deal with the threatening phone calls and emails. Once I got all my "ducks in a row" I started contacting all of my PDLs by phone, fax and mail. I started getting responses immediately. I have three that have marked my account "PAID IN FULL" and one that gave me a refund and "PAID IN FULL". Now I have four more to go, but the depression is gone and I am sleeping nights and thanks to this forum I have stopped those harrasing phone calls and emails. Just keep reading this forum and you will feel so much better. You are not alone, and things will get better. Just have faith, we're all with you.

Now that we're almost "old hat" with the pdl's...I find them rather amusing at times. The calls here have stopped, and I'm reduced from 6 pdl's to 2. The amount is nominal compared to the total amount I owed one time.
It was just this past April when I was where you are Gallopy, I was so broke that I had to pawn some jewelry for $20 just for gas in my car to get me to work and back.
But things definately got better, quickly! I started a new position in my job and just got a big fat raise,I have a new checking and savings account, and actually able to save now, and that was only 3 months ago.
When you help yourself, Karma comes back to you in spades. Always for the better!
Stay strong....

Gallopy,
The bad feelings will pass, I promise. you have a lot to be happy about, although I know sometimes it's hard to see that.
8 months ago I was in hell myself..I had 6 payday loans, a secret I kept from my husband. On the surface I had to maintain a happy existence, but I was terrified..i wasn't sleeping or eating, I was having panic attacks..I saw no end to the situation, and I thought I would lose everything. Not to mention, my Dad had died 6 months prior to that, and I was dealing with unbelievable grief. Christmas was coming, and I didn't know how i would give my husband and little boy a nice Christmas. My husband and I have good jobs..but I was paying so much for the PDLS we weren't saving anything..
But it all came to pass. I found this site, changed our account, told my husband the truth, and got back on top again. I am now PDL free, and live like a normal person again. I am happy again..And you will be too. You're being proactive, and that's the first step. When it starts to get better, it gets better fast.
And..Remember to count your blessings. One of my favorite adages is an old South American saying.."I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no feet". Thinking of that helped me through some really bad times. Keep your chin up, and you always have friends here you can vent on!

Gallopy. I have been feeling pretty darn depressed lately too. If you want to be miserable together sometime in chat just let me know.

I will echo what everyone has said Gallopy----all of this is just temporary, it won't always be this way. You are going through a rough patch, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are young and have a lifetime to look forward to. When you look at your life in terms of 75-80 years, you will see what a teensy part of your life this situation will be.---Just a note, but if your depression does not subside within a couple of weeks, please think about seeing a doctor.

I appreciate you guys very much. I try to keep it in my head that the Lord will not put more on my plate than he knows I can handle and I also try to think that it will soon pass. I know all of these things, but it's just hard sometimes.

I know the feeling...but you obviously have a great support system in place, and so you'll be fine.

Just try to remember that money isn't everything, and as long as you are getting by...for now...trying to get out of debt, and have the love of your family, that's all that matters right now.

I have to remind myself all the time that because I am working hard to finish school, pay off my debt, and pay current bills, that its OK if I can't go do fun things all the time or go shopping...I can do all that when I finish my Master's degree and am making GOOD money! :)

For now, be thankful for what you DO have, and appreciate every moment in your precious life.

You are right Gallopy---remember that He is in control even when we think we are. Put everything in His hands and it will work out

Gallopy, I know how you feel I have been there. I am PDL free and I am on the other end now. I can go after these guys for doing illegal interest over internet. I was like finsfan hid it from my husband, that was the scary part after 22 years of marriage to hide something like that. Things will get better. In our newspaper last Thanksgiving there was a column on things to be thankful for. The number one thing was Were you able to get out of bed this morning? Then it stated that 22% of Americans were not. It got me to thinking, I am blessed. Take Care KYSIDE38 :D :D :D :D :D

Hey Gallopy..

You'll get better. Most of us around here have been there. It doesn't seem like it can get better, I know..But trust me it will! :) We've all got your back, and vent to us any time. I've done it a billion times.