Can't sleep because of debt

If you do not want to entertain bankrupcy then do debt settlement

Hi there cathzee and welcome to the community. :) I just wanted to acknowledge your post and let you know that someone with more knowledge in this area will be around to advise you when they are available. Keep checking back. :D

Sorry Cathzee that things are kind of tough for you now. The first thing I would do is write a monthly budget. I would start with the past few months to see where your money is going and then write one for the next month before the month begins. Once you have your past and current budget written I would try to eliminate non necesities. You might conisder dumping things like cell phones, cable and gym memberships if you have them. Those can easily cost you $200/month or more combined. If you don't clip coupons then you should consider doing so because you can save a lot of money there. Check out couponmom and thegrocerygame dot com. One is free and the other is a pay site. Another option is to move down in cars depending on how much your car is worth and how much the payment is. I don't think I would do anything with the home at this point unless things get really tight and you can't make the payment. I would always pay necesites before credit cards.

Cathzee, wow this seems to be a familiar story to me. I was there a couple of years ago with my family just starting out and my wife and I made a decision for her to stay home with baby. Daycare is far to expensive, basically her entire check would be going to cover daycare expenses. So she stayed home and then everything went downhill from there. I started getting sick, stress and lack of sleep contributed to a whole lot of health problems. Our credit card debt alone was a lot and we first went with a law firm because we thought they'd be better, the only thing they did was get me sued in about 4 months. then we left them and went with superior debt and now we are almost done only have 3 creditors left to be settled. Today my stress is at a normal rate, I sleep a thousand times better and most of my health issues have resolved itself.

Dollars and since, you have some great recommendations thank you! There are people, like myself that need a cell phone for business and such, but we did shut off the landline since cell phones are much more convinent for my family's situation. As for gym and cable those are our only means of recreation so we did not stop them but we did stop some of the unnecessary station. My wife and I are gym rats and have always been so that was not going to change. Clipping coupons, that was not quite realistic for my family. Yes they save a lot but after clipping them you have to use them. Just not able to remember to bring them to the store. But my wife is an sales ad woman, we normally eat things that are on sale for that week. Our credit was in the dumps and there was no way of lessening our car payments or even refi-ing the house. The main thing is our lives did not stop nor did we eat ramen noodles, but we adjusted to meet our current obligations and have even be able save a little along the way. It is amazing how creative you can be with a few dollars in your pocket; not to mention the free 'going on's' that you can find in your area. Every week it seems there is something at the park or library that can inform, educate, and build great friendships.

Cathzee, good luck!

Are there any jobs that you could do from home to earn money while keeping your son out of daycare? When I thought back to #1 how much I missed of my childrens childhood because I was always working and #2 how much Daycare cost compared to what I made, Daycare just doesn't seem like money well spent. Now if you are making 6 figures, that is different!

While I agree that dealing with coupons can be a pain and they do take some discipline and time I would still recomend investing the time especially if you are a stay at home mom or dad. The trick is to combine the coupons with in store sales. Those sites I listed help save a lot of time and still furnish really nice savings including poiting out a lot of free items if you combine the coupons with the sales price. I have enough shampoo and cleaning supplies to last me for a couple years now and I got it all free. I don't even get the free ones now because I have enough already. I'll give you a few examples of my savings just within the past few weeks.

Walgreens had a sale on kellog's cereal any type at $2.50/box plus a $5 instore credit for each $10 spent on that cereal. Now, in the sunday paper a couple weeks earlier kellog's had a few different coupons for $1 off various brands of cereal and they had a mail in rebate for $10 if you purchased 10 boxes. What I did is I picked up 5 sets of coupons so I could use multiple coupons and 2 rebates. I bought 20 boxes of cereal which after subtracting the coupons and rebates they will pay me $5 for each set of 10 boxes. For each set of 10 boxes I paid $25 - ($10 in store credit) - ($10 coupons) - ($10 mail in rebate). The only minus to this deal is I have to wait 6-8 weeks to get my two $10 mail in rebates so I do have $1 per box invested but that is still a great deal for name brand cereal.

Another great deal I acted on was Kroger had a 10 for $10 sale on crest toothpaste and I had 5 coupons at 0.75 off so I got 5 tubes for 0.25 each or $1.25 total which is cheaper than the cost of 1 tube normally.

Anyway I like thegrocerygame site even though it cost a small amount of money. It has deffinetly saved me much more than the membership fee and what I spend on newspapers for coupons. They always have a lot of items on their lists that are 50% off - free. The trick is stock up on items that keep and plan your meals and needs around the list because the items vary quite a bit from week to week.

Excellent suggestions and well worth the time invested.

My wife is great about making sure the meals for the week is circled around sales in the paper. She loves Kroger and they 10 for $10 items or their in-store specials! She knows where to go to make our dollar stretch and the meals that she prepares is amazing. I would never know what to do if something should happen. Also shared your site with my wife and she is already in love. Thank you so much!!!

Cathzee - I sent you a PM. Check your In-Box.

Cathzee~

First of all, congratulations on your baby. They are quite the blessing!

If it were me I would cut back on anything that is not essential. Do you have a cell phone plan? Would it be cheaper to switch to a pay as you go service? I know I used to have a plan with 1400 minutes a month. I never even came close!! Just cutting back my cell phone plan to 800 minutes a month saved me like $50.

If you have digital cable switch to basic.

Start clipping coupons. It is a total pain in the but while you are clipping. But when you get to the store and see how much you save it's worth it. The first time I did it I clipped $40 off our grocery bill. It was like the best high. But I love clipping, so maybe that's just me.

Just make sure you don't buy things you normally wouldn't just because they are on sale. For example, my friend started clipping coupons and her grocery bill went up, she told me that it was a waste of time. So I looked at her receipts. It was obvious. She shopped once a week. She usually only purchased cleaning products once a month when she ran out. But she got coupons in the Sunday papers for them so she started buying 2 months worth of cleaning products every week for 3 weeks. Leaving her with 6 months worth of cleaning products and a higher bill. You see what I mean? Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you should go out of your way to buy it.

Write a grocery list and stick to it. Try to find coupons for the things you already buy.

If you are like me and like to shop online. Do this. Every time you go to purchase something, most website have a place in the checkout area that says "enter coupon code here". Before you check out, open another internet browser screen and type in the name of the website and the words "coupon code" after it. So it ends up looking like, for example "amazon.com coupon code". A bunch of websites should pop up, browse them and see what you can find. Return to the website and enter you newly found code. Watch the total drop!

These are all very good ideas for budgeting, but if you read the OP, it appears that she is in financial crisis and is heading toward BK. We need to help her in ways to tackle her debt currently on hand.

Why just handle one part of her issue when most likely she can make an additional immediate impact with reducing what she is spending now?

And the ideas offered are things she might not have thought about?

The title of her post is "can't sleep because of debt", and I read the main point of her post as "She wants to be debt free", not just asking for BK advice. Maybe I misread or misinterpreted the meaning behind her post?

Reducing the amount she is spending on her everyday things is one step on that path to her goal of being debt free. She is selling things on Craigslist, and hell maybe she is already implementing the ideas offered.

What suggestions do you have for her regarding bankruptcy? I know nothing about BK so I have no advice to offer. All that I (and probably some of the other posters) can offer are suggestions that, while having nothing to do with BK, DO have the ability to help her now.

Everyone situation is different but before talking to to a bankruptcy attorney, contact all of your creditors first you maybe in a position where they will accept lower payments or can work something out. As for the utlities, alot of companie offer equal payment plans where you can pay a certain about each month over the year.

smo - my post was trying to bring light to the fact that we were only focusing on one part of her problem - which had to do with saving money and budgeting. That is good. Now we also need to focus on the overall financial picture. Nowhere did I say that she should file BK, I referenced that the OP said she was heading for BK. If we can help the OP avoid that route, that would be a blessing.

Perhaps since the OP only posted once in this thread, maybe all she needed was someone to listen to her vent. Sometimes an ear is just as helpful as a hand.

true enough

I didn't know I'm going to get so much responses. I wasn't able to update my post right away because I just started going back to work. We are still in financial crisis and do need some help. I'm actually earning more than my husband that's why I couldn't quit my job. I'm earning about almost 2,500 a month (that's why I can't quit) and he's 1600. Our debt combined were all because of our past marriages. He's giving $500 monthly to his ex-wife for child support while my debt were from tuition fees and most of them were used to pay for my mom's medical bills and also school fees of my 2 siblings (I'm the eldest that's why). At this time, we're doing our very best to stay positive because we don't want our marriage to be affected with this financial problem.
When it comes to savings, we have free basic cable at our condo and we're only paying for the internet. We don'thave a home phone line and we only have the basic cellphone plan. Our mortgage combined plus HOA is almost $1400 monthly (due to high interest) and we tried refinancing but was not declined because of the current market. We even tried to cut back our electricity by not using too much a/c but we don't want our baby to feel uncomfortable.
Since we had our baby, we've been trying all possible means to save money. We did cut coupons, we stopped eating out and stopped using 4 of our credit cards. The only card that we're using right now is the one that's paying some of my medical bills and we actually transferred almost all our credit card balances to this one.
Like what I've said from the OP, I've been selling stuff on craigslist. I just also started selling books on cash4books.net this week and have recently applied as a mystery shopper. But I know this won't be enough for us. With the daycare coming which will costs us 200 a week, I just don't think we'll be able to handle it. But of course, we have to stay positive.
I'm curious about that debt settlement but I'm pretty skeptical about it. Does this affect one's credit? Our credit as of this month is still in good condition since we're still paying our bills on time (some using our cc) but I really want to know more of your suggestions since I don't we'll be able to keep this up.
One posted about financial future and of course, I'm really into that especially now with the baby. My husband and I were hoping that as soon as we got our debt cleared then we will start working on our son's future.
I wanna have a good night sleep again and with all your posts above, it's already helping me. We know we couldn't do this alone that's why I'm really glad I found this site.
Thanks guys and please keep posting. You're all a blessing to me and my family.

Cath - debt settlement should be the last option you consider before filing BK. Both will destroy your credit. Usually debt settlement is something to consider when you are already behind on your pymts and can't afford the pymts anymore. A debt management plan will help get your interest, fees, etc down and spread the payments over 3 - 5 years. While you are in the plan, it does report on your credit report that you are in a dmp plan, but when you finish it, it is removed and shows like nothing ever happened. Both types of programs you can do with a company or by yourself. There are plenty of people on this board who have talked about the results doing either program, by themselves or thru use of a company.

As to your issue, $200 a week for childcare is outrageous! Wow! It almost negates your husband going to work! I would check with work to see if they offer a benefit where you can put pre-tax $ into an account to be used for child care/medical etc. The pre-tax part saves you a little money.

I had sent you a PM so that you and I could chat about the specifics of your situation. I am a tax accountant and could help you in setting up a budget, if you'd like. Also, you might want to call your creditors and explain your financial situation and ask them if they offer any programs to help you out for the short term (12 months). Sometimes they will reduce or eliminate the interest/fees, etc.

Otherwise, may I suggest that you or your husband look to pick up a second job. If you can't reduce your expenses, then you have to look at increasing your income.

I don't know how much daycare is for babies but $200 might be average. I would deffinetly check around. We were paying $125/week for fulltime day care for a 6 year old during the summer. She is in school now so partime daycare is $65/week if we use it. We put her in the YMCA CEP program which is great because it is located right at the school she goes too. I am pretty sure they won't take babies though but you might keep it in mind for when your children get into school. I like it a lot because I only pay if I use it which means if she goes 3/5 days then we get a discount for the week. If she misses the entire week then we pay nothing. Currently we have my wife's parents staying with us so that covers our daycare at this time.

I think one of your biggest issues is your husbands income. I would suggest either extra work, a second job, extra training that could lead to better pay or something along those lines. You need to be genlte with him when you talk about this issue though because it could easily lead to a huge fight. I would try to find him some work paying $15/hour if you can which would be about 2400/month before taxes or around 30,000/year before taxes.

Another issue you might consider working on is your house payment. Right now you are sitting at 30% of both of your combined incomes going to the house payment which is a tad bit high. Generally you don't want that percentage over 25%. If one of you stops working then the payment will become very difficult to make. It might not be worth changing though because it would mean you would have to either refi which you said the banks wouldn't do or you would have to sell. It might not be worth selling especially if you are going to take a loss. Also, the only really cheaper alternatives would be apartments or rented house and those aren't going to be as nice as where you are now probably.

Desperatelyseeking... if that debt management will help us get rid of our debt in a short time, then that would be great. Do you know any legitimate company that does this? I'm just too scared because my brother did this too yet he was scammed so now he's paying more debts. Anyway, I am also using flex-card/pre-tax dollars for my family's medical care. Not the insurance payments but the co-pays that we have.
We do have YMCA here but of course, they're not taking babies but I'm keeping them in mind for the future. DOLLARs, you are lucky that you have that option to have some sort of discount for part time care. In my case, it's actually more expensive if we do that.
My husband is indeed looking for an extra job but he's in a working contract right now. His income never increases as part of the contract and he won't be able to find a better one until he actually finish his contract which is 10 months. He is actually planning to get some more training during those time to increase his salary and also, we're hoping that he can work in a graveyard shift so we don't have to take our baby to a daycare. That's one of the reason why we're not planning to get any extra job. The good part with my husband and I is that we understand our situation and we never fight with money. Even if we owe so much money, we try to stay positive because we know that part of that debt that we owe had helped so much. Not basically us, but it had helped other people that we care for.
We feel that we're going to get through this messy situation, we just don't know how.
We can't wait to be debt free and I hope to look for some answers here.
Thanks again everyone for all your responses.

Desperate... I sent u a PM. I hope you got it. Thanks

To clarify, when I said part time daycare I meant before and after school care 5 days a week. I said part time because my daughter is in school all day long, of course, so we pay for 1.5 hours before school and 1.5 hours after school or so. Anyway our YMCA CEP program charges around $65/week for that type of care. They charge $125/week during the summer for full day care. One cool thing they do is you only pay for what you use so if you miss a full week then you pay nothing for that week. Most other day cares charge if you are there or not. I really doubt they take babies though so the YMCA won't help much until your children are a bit older.

Cathzee,
Congratulations on your little bundle! Hang in there, you'll come out stronger than ever.
I'm posting because my husband and I were in a similar (although not quite the same situation), a few years back. I have a couple suggestions.
First of all, if at all possible get out of or refinance your auto loan. We refinanced our auto loan with a credit union and our interest rate dropped 10 points!
Consolodate your credit debt into one easier to pay bill which may even be less than what you are currently paying. You need to stop using credit cards! I know it's hard, we've ditched ours and it's tempting at times to go back. We have a very modest income, no cell phones, no cable, and free internet. You need to live within your means, don't borrow anymore. You can shop at thrift stores, you can't go without a roof over your head. Cut corners wherever you can and have your husband take on another job for a few months time.
Call the utility companies well before the bills are due to set up payment arrangements on past due amounts. They generally will add a small amount to the current bills.
You don't need to declare bankruptcy before you've tried to work things out with your debtors. They'll work with you.
Read Dave Ramsey's book, he's great and certainly helped us.
Good luck to you, and bless that little baby.

all good advice