Daughter has 9 credit cards that she owes on

The point is, she will have to help herself. She can register here, and somone will contact her for free credit counseling and discuss options she may have, such as consolidation. I have a younger son who got in a mess with credit cards,etc., I helped once, but he got back into it, now it;s up to him. Good Luck..Keep us posted..Karen

I will talk to her and see if she will register with this site.She is in a big mess with all her bills I keep telling her one step at a time.

Brenda I am just so glad that she is home and safe. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Best Wishes KYSIDE38

Hi Brenda, Wellcome to tha boards. We all will be glad to assist you here. I am going to be frank and honest here. Your daughter is 25 and married, it sounds like she has made some not sopsitive life choices. She is going to have to learn to deal with these life troubles herself and you can't fix it for her. I know you want to, I KNOW YOU DO but you just can't. Do they have children? You daughter is going to need to examine her lifes picture, why does she have all this crappy credit hisptory, what is she doing that she has to be paid "under the table" and her and her husband might need counseling. It sounds like to me and this is my personal opinion that her credit rating is not her biggest problem. We will be glad to support you here and answer any debit questions you might have. Keep posting and good luck

It's just going to take time to get it all straightened out and then she can work on tyring to clean up her credit..KAren

Ahsley- I thing we have to be really carefull judging someones life or how they got into debt. Heaven knows I made a whole lot of poor choices concerning debt, and I'm old, so I really mean alot.! Unless we know the circumstances, it's hard to say, unless we just stick with refering them to debt solutions..Karen

Her husband had her put everything in her name ,the apartment,the bow flex,the electric,two cars and 1 truck,the big screen tv he wanted,department stores like best buy,circut city ,insurance and the list goes on.He decided after 3 years of marriage he did not want to be married he spent all his pay check on booze and 90 percent of hers so bills starting coming in so one thing lead to another,he went out on night like he always did and spent all of his pay on booze and got into her truck and plowed into a woman at a stop light,he backed up and backed into a another car behind him and then bounce off a car on the side of him and left the scene on rims no tires.
So she had one car repo and since she could not continue paying for the truck she had to let that go.
She could no longer pay her rent,she had been paying it by herself for over a year she could no longer pay her phone or electricity or anything else and on top of all this she had 2 miscarriages one almost took her life so a lot was going on she she left and now she is back and ready to face all of this,and as far as working she is working in accounts recievable and the man and his wife are paying her good money under the table untill she can save enough to start paying her bills.

Brenda just like Bossy said no one should judege until you have walked in somebody elses shoes. I am just happy she is safe and that was your biggest worry. KYSIDE38

Sounds like she's had some tough breaks, hopefully everything will straighten out for her. I always recomend Al-Anon for anyone who has been with someone who has a drinking problem, wonderful support group! Best of luck to you and her..KAren

Oh no I was not judging her life in anyway and I am sorry if I came across that way, God knows I have and am in the same boat. I was just trying to tell the Mom that she needs to let go and that her daughters problems were bigger than a repoed car or a credit card bill. I am sorry if I am came across as being judgemental because that is the LAST thing I wanted ton convery. :(

Brenda---As a mother of a 25 year old daughter, I can identify with you wanting to help and guide your daughter through what can be described as very difficult! My daughter thankfully is good with money, but that doesn't mean she hasn't made mistakes. Even though your daughter is 25, she obviously still needs your guidance and direction. Is she still married? Maybe she could file bankruptcy?

I can understand the mother wanting to help her daughter and I agree that we shouldn't judge anyone b/c we've all made mistakes before. But Ashley, why do you feel the mother should let go? I got caught up in the pdls mess and even though I brought the mess on myself, my mom was there for me and didn't wanna let go b/c she loves me. I have credit card debt and other debt that could have been avoided, but I made the mistake of taken out ipdls. My mom saw how depressed and sick I was b/c I let this stuff happen, but she didn't let go b/c she loves me.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the mother can't fix the problme for her daughter at 25 like she did when she was 5, it's the daughter time to step up and get control of her life. The mother (and others) can support and love this young lady but the 25 year old needs to evaluate what is going on her life to get her to the place her mother says she is at

I am glad Ashley said what she did and I don't think she was being at all judgemental. It looks like Mom, (and bless her heart, she is just trying to be a mom)is hoping for a quick fix for her daughter. Maybe I have been a good mother, and I would like to think I am all wise and knowing - but, I may not be the best person to give certain advice and guidance to my adult children. I am too close and I am not going to be realistic. Ashley is not being judgemental, just straightforward. Her daughter is in deep and her mother should just give her the link to this website and let her daughter find the help she needs herself. Even if her daughter gets paid under the table and has no assets, she is still in financial trouble and possibly needs professional financial guidance and possibly legal assistance because of the car accident.

My opinion is that the debt advice given here is invaluable and should be freely exchanged. On the other hand, the personal life adivce should be kept to ones self. When people visit this site, I think, as a rule they are in an extremely emotional place because of their debt. We don't need tips on how to live our personal lives. There are other resources out there to help us deal with our personal issues. This is not that place. Please stick to the debt issues. That is certainly what we expect to get here and most of you people really do it well.

I agree with you "guest." We should stick to debt issues b/c like you said, when people visit this site with their personal problems, they are probably very emotional or depressed and those type of feelings should be left for a psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.