Despair, frustration, and general dissatisfaction

Sometimes it works well for me - but only if I give in to it and listen to my inner self. I have been intune since I can remember. It goes back generations.

Nevertheless, I hope you're right. I could use a little hope.

There's always hope, and add some faith to that - faith in youself and in yor recurter - he sounds like he may just be able to help you.

I could use all the help that is out there. Lord knows there are more than enough obstacles. I say quite often that society needs an enema.

Actually I believe it shoud be a high collanic!

I second that!

LOL!! But I think that this medical thing is a good-luck sign for you--cuz I really think it's keeping you from Bagdad. Not that I don't want you to do what you want to do, but I know the military (having been in at one time myself) and know how recruiters can shall we say "twist" the truth at times.
I would get everything in writing with them.

For that $20k sign-on bonus and the Montgomery GI bill, I would gladly march off to Iraq for a spell. I need it. I wouldn't consider this medical circus good luck because earning crap depresses me. I have ambitions that exceed this dismal town and it's tiny array of menial crap jobs. I feel like I have some kind of anchor attached to me when these issues are brought up.

Ari, I am so sorry that things are so stinky for you. Please Please take care of that blood pressure. Stress definately plays a role in it just like my diabetes. Its hard to leave home I know. I sure hope you find a decent job that you like. Best Wishes KYSIDE38

Ari, All storms pass! If you wake up and you are not in the police log or the obituary, then anything else can be overcome. I am overseas in Germany, and while I am a u.s. govt worker here and have several advantages, there are also disadvantages in another country where it is extremely difficult to find employment if you are not a local, and trust me, even in different parts of other countries such as here, the accent gives way to where you are from. They keep it lighthearted for the most part but the north and the south here are not particularly friends, and if you do get a job in Europe the taxes generally are 50 percent of your earnings. I can not tell if you are a native of DK or not, but if you have the education benefits, definitely take advantage of it. Again, all storms pass and hang in there. ANG is not bad and an option, not everyone is going to the desert and it depends on what your MOS is. You can not see the light now, but if you do ANG like my dad and father, they have a extra check the rest of their life coming in now for there service. It would also discipline and motivate you. In the service everybody is from somewhere else and it is a source of pride. I have never been in the army, only working as civilian for many years, so not trying to recruit you. Again hang in there, and look to the future. The windshield of your car is big so you can see what is in front of you, you rear view mirror is small, because what is behind you isn't near as important. Dont live life looking in the rear view mirror and those idiots, keep looking forward, things happen when you least expect them.

Hi Ari,

I'm sorry that you are hurting so much right now. There is one saying that is so true, "This too shall pass". I know you are probably in no mood to hear but it is the truth. After six years at my job, being a good employee, I was blind sided by being laid off. I was shocked, angry, and upset. I have come to realize that my place is not there. There is better opportunity for both of us in this big, bad world. I saw a commercial for Chase about student loans. I think they might be able to help lower the payment and interest rate. It said they don't do a credit check so it might be worth checking out. I have banked with Chase for a couple of years and they are a good bank. I've had no problems with them. I think of my job and the past couple of years I had been miserable. I'm happier now that I am gone but I'm scared at the same time. I really don't want to learn a new job but I do like a challenge. I'm the type to worry about nothing and make myself physically sick. It's really not worth it. I have to keep telling myself that. I know there is a better job out there for me but I'm not very patient about it. It seems the hiring process can be long at some places now. Things have changed since I've actually had to look for a job. But I am lucky and I will receive unemployment. But it also bothers me because I feel like I'm milking something. It's just how I think. Don't give up on yourself. :-)

Thank you Raye! I was just on the phone with my recruiter, and apparently my medical things can't easily be overlooked. In order for me to even be considred for a medical waiver, they want me to go see a doctor and have an EKG, and three consecutive blood pressure readings sitting down, standing, and lying down. This is time and money consuming and absolutely fruitless at this point. The only thing that will bring my blood pressure down is an operation to restore blood flow to one of my kidneys.

Ari,
You seem very bright and caring but it sounds like your surroundings are not providing like minded persons for you to socialize with at the moment. I think to get a decent job you need to network a little stronger, I do not think the military is the right path at the moment. I am going to suggest being a volunteer either at the Red Cross or the Salvation Army. I think the Red Cross looks for a commitment while the Salvation Army offers a more flexible schedule. A lot of business owners/employers/professionals are volunteers. Your very presence here tells me you want to be a help to others so why not do that and help yourself as well? I sense in your words that you feel that you have nothing in common with anyone, like you are an outsider. As a volunteer, you will have at least one thing in common with everyone, make sense? I think in this way you will satisfy your desire to help others but also find opportunities for yourself not to mention lifelong friendships. Ari, I know this is not an easy thing to do and it won't be with the situation you are in but I also know from first hand experience that the military is no walk in the park either. I ask that you at least look into it and see what they say. They say the best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer up someone else.......get back to me and let me know if that's true.

The Red Cross has some pretty good connections with medical care and they may be able to hook you up with some help with medical issues. I hope this helped a little and maybe gave you a small ray of hope.

THanks for that info. I'll look into that online.

Hi Ari....

I will do the EKG and Orthostatics...

Hey Ari,
I think the Red Cross is a great idea--because you are not tied in and can leave if it doesn't work out, for starters, and you could also help others, which I for one think you are very good at.
The reason the military is being careful is to make sure you can make it through basic training, I'm positive. And speaking of physical restrictions, I can tell you that if you sleepwalk for example, you couldn't serve on a naval ship! Sounds strange, but it does make sense, in a wierd way.
The thing about the military is, that you need to really like structure, because you will get plenty of it there. You do get to do alot of traveling, which is cool if you are single. I was in for 4 years and lived in Japan, for example.
Hope this helps!

Hang in there Ari! Play with Missy alot before you get you blood pressure done, it will help lower your blood pressure, hopefully!! Let me know what happens, you are in my prayers..Love ya girlie!! :D Karen

I've been playing with Missy, she's such a good little cat. And my husband is home which is comforting.

I just posted something in the identity theft forum about my new workplace that is disturbing, it's even worse than my first collections job in this town. It's so important everyone reads if because it can happen to anyone seemingly at random. All this banality and corruption makes me even more sick at work.

Ari, I failed the bar exam four or five times (I lose count) which costs me about $400 to take each time. I have never given up on it and I won't.

I have been in debt up to the mountains. But I got up the next morning and still climbed until I reached to the top.

1998: I lost three jobs, my boyfriend and went into debt. But I still got up the next morning. All of this occurred within a span of two months.

I have payday loans and I will have them until they are paid.

Never quit and never surrender.

Thank you Alex, you are an inspiration!

Ari- don't worry, you are going to pass it next time!! These are only temporary setbacks, not permanent. If worse comes to worse, and you wouldn't pass it, then God has something much better planned for you, and doesn't want you there! I'm glad Frank is homw with you-and Missy is doing well!!.Love ya girlie...KAren :D :D

Ari
I wish I had magic words to make everything better for you but there are not any. The one thing I know is that it WILL get Better. Life is just a journey to do the best we can treat people right try to do good things and most of all take care of your self. I lift you up and am confident you will be given the grace to put up with that job. Yes there are times mine stinks too. But it gets better hang in there and have Faith

I will, and thank you so much.

Ari---Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to get up in the morning does it? I understand and can identify with your situation. I echo everything others have posted about your frustration with your health issues and that keeping you from what you want to do. Sometimes we don't know why we are being kept from doing something that seems so right.Later, looking back in retrospect, you will no doubt see a reason that for right now isn't clear.

As far as being in Florida is concerned---I can relate there too---nothing against Floridians, but I went there once (18 years ago) and experienced big time culture shock! I have lived my entire life in southern California, but when we went for a family reunion, I couldn't believe these rednecks were my family. They weren't bad people, but their opinions, values, ideas, etc. were very much antiquated. I felt like it was 1960 instead of 1986!

I am not downing the south or the people, but there was a big difference.

Lorri, You are so right with the south being different.

Quote:

Ari - I hope things are starting to turn around and look a little better for you!

Blessings! :D

I hope you are right. I feel backed into a corner.

But aren't, Ari! There is always a solution, sometomes we just need others to help show us what it is. You are going to get through this, and come out on the other side a stronger person. This bad time won't last forever, though it seems like it, it will pass-nothing stays the same forever.Take care, my friend..KAren

Ari, PLEASE get ahold of yourself. I have been concerned alot about your blood pressure. I have those health issues also with diabetes. I am know wearing an insulin pump and somedays I want to give up to. You are a special person and have been so kind and helpful to so many on this forum. Thanksgiving a newspaper article was published here about being thankful. It said the first line did you get out of bed this morning? If you answered yes you were better off than 34 percent of this country and the shocking thing was if you had a bed you were better off than 19 percent of this country. The Good LORD has a plan for you. Please keep your spirits up. GOD BLESS KYSIDE38

You definitely have a purpose for being in life and one of them is to continue sharing your wealth of knowledge with your fellow forum members. I urge you to continue venting and talking on this forum as it can be very therapuetic.

I hope you are right that I'm here for a reason. I can't stand the thought of my life being wasted away stuck in some crappy cubicle at some crappy collection agency. I just look at my surroundings and say to myself "This is not my life."

It all makes me feel like a disappointment to my husband and myself.

Ari--Just remember that you're still young! :) You'll come upon something that you'll absolutely love and wonder why you stressed about it so much.

I'm waiting for Sam to call me back. He's out of town on conference right now.

Another thing--Have you ever looked into housecleaning? I did that for a while and I actually love it...Cleaning other peoples stuff is actually more fun than your own...lol And I know I made awesome money doing it. Plus it's good exercise and gives you a ton of time to think.

There's an idea. Sounds nice and quiet and phone free!

I did housecleaning for a while, Ari & Jessi - not full time, but I imagine it could be a very good income, depending on the area you live in. Living in Florida, Ari, I would think you have a large population of elderly folks around you that would be happy to pay someone to clean their homes if they are past the point of being able to themselves.

I did 2-3 houses a weekend, and earned enough to feed my family of 6 every week.

Did you go through a commercial service like Merry Maids or did you freelance?

Nope, I freelanced! I worked full time at a university at the time, and just put a notice out on the electronic bulletin board (this was BEFORE the internet!) that I was available for housecleaning. Before I knew it, I had 3 staff and/or faculty houses to clean. I became very close to the families I cleaned for, over time.

I would suggest your local paper, or put notices up on the bulletin boards provided by local grocery stores, or senior citizen centers.

How did you negotiate your price?

Well, we started out looking over the house together (the homeowner and I), and discussed their expectations as far as the housecleaning was concerned. Then we discussed how many hours it might take to do the job, and settled on a "per job" price - meaning if they wanted me to do the same jobs every week (like general cleaning, dusting, baths, floors), we would settle on a standard per-cleaning price, which is what they would pay each week (or whenever they had me do it). If there was anything additional to do (windows, heavier cleaning like carpet shampooing, walls, etc.), then we would discuss the price for that at the time of the job.

Jessi, how did you figure yours?

At first I worked for a small business run by one woman. I was her only cleaner. She paid me half of what she made on a job. She charged $25/hr, plus $4 for each window. So if it took 4 hours to clean a home, and they wanted 6 windows cleaned, it was $124, and I made half. I normally did 4-5 houses per week. If they were apartments, I could normally do one in 2 hours. Then she shut down becuase she was too lazy to advertise and get more business, so she couldn't pay her bills. I kept one client on my own, which was an elderly man. I cleaned his apartment which normally took about 3 hours, so I made $75.00.

Even the Merry Maids/etc. don't pay bad. And the best part about it is the less stress. A lot of the branches even provide transportation from the office to your jobs which saves you on gas. It's especially nice in the spring and summer (which you basically have all year long..lol) because you get to drive around town and spend some time outside.

Hi Ari,

You said it - my student loans came due this month for 231.00 and i cant pay either. I have run out of forebearances and been given one hardship and am now one month - heading into 2 behind. I have tried searching for ways to decrease the amount of interest that it is going to cost over the next 20 years. Have even written congressman-of course no response. I have had to file bankrupcy twice because i had cancer and no insurance and am now up to my eyeballs into the pdc advances. Take heart...you are not alone and try not to get to discouraged-easier said then done!

I also did housecleaning for a time, and I have to agree with Suebee. Ari, being that you're in Florida, I'm sure there are a ton of elderly people who need this service. My most memorable client was a woman in her 90's who was actually one of the first women in the Navy--in World War I. She had a picture of herself in uniform, which was great.
She also told me that America started going to u-know-what in a handbasket the day Dan Rather got to anchor the CBS News!! (I don't think that old Sophie was that far off, lol....)

That's funny! I never new Dan Rather was such a villain! He seemed to me like another harmless and not very interesting guy in a gray suit broadcasting the news.

Ari,
Just wanted to let yu know not all southerners have that attitude.The ole cajun is an ideal southern gentleman.Everything works out in time. Try to relax and keep on top of the blood pressure. Thought I was gonna have to hog tie the wife when she acted like she didn't need her meds.After she almost hit the floor the stupid sign finally came on.She takes it religiously now.

It's ok bulldog, I appreciate your input. I have recognized some gentility in some Southerners, especially those hailing from Louisiana, the girl I work with is a proud Creole, and she's great company!

LOL, Cajun!!! And you are one Southern gentleman I am proud to know!! Seems like that stupid sign comes on for many people I encounter, lol...
Now Ari, speaking of my old client, Sophie Bean, who was 97 years old when I worked for her in the late 80's, so I'm sure she's not with us now...
She was a grand old gal who really wanted to give me advice and tell me when it all went to hell--(her words)and was serious about Dan Rather!!!! It was all I could do to not laugh in her face, but I loved her too much not to do that. But ya know, looking back on things, maybe Sophie had a point!! Things HAVE gone downhill since Dan got the CBS News...