hi-your help please

To make a long story short...We had excellent outstanding credit. paid our bills on time every month, had people lining up to give us credit. Then we had some bad luck, my husband was laid off from work and had to settle for a job that paid quite a bit less. Then that company shut down due to bankruptcy and he went with a job that paid even less than what the other one did. We got behind on our bills so joined a debt management program. Almost everyone accepted us on it. (another story about one company that refused to--I still had them on the program and paid them for a while, but realized that my debt was actually getting higher rather than lower. They were charging late fees and so forth. Still begged them to accept me, they still refused. I took them off. I stopped paying them and basically passed the money out to the wheels that were squeeking the loudest--between that and taking care of our basic needs.)
Getting back to the debt management program. Things went well for a while, then had another misfortunate event happen and had to skip two months of payments. well, if you are familiar with debt management, after skipping two payments, they declare you 'inactive'. I thought that meant 'no activity', but it actually means that they write all of your creditors telling them that you are off the program. I did not know this. I called the debt management people, and got started back up with them, which is like starting all over again. They have to have all of your information and send out proposals to your creditors. some refused to accept me back on it and sent me straight into collections. One thing I have done and am very good about. I write letters. And I have wrote several letters to my debtors through out this whole ordeal. I explained what all had happened and wanted to put them back on debt management, they still refused, or wouldn't respond. Then I got letters that said if they didn't hear something from me by so and so, they were going to do a 'write off'. I wrote them back again, trying to work out something...ignored me and went ahead with the write off. (thought it had to be six months without a payment for a 'writeoff'? not the case with us) So then, after that, I start getting collection agency letters and phone calls. I write them all letters, talking to them and trying to work something out. The letters say they want the 'whole amount' but I write back and say, look if I had the whole amount, I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with and I definitely wouldn't be talking about debt management. I would explain that I simply wanted to work something out and asked about putting them on my debt management program and making monthly payments to them like that. Then at the bottom, I would write for them NOT TO CALL us at home or at work. ***written correspondence only--no phone calls. I put that I was awaiting their reply. I was very careful to explain that I wasn't cutting off total correspondence just phone calls. Since writing these letters, I haven't heard anything.?? I did get a letter from one, that said they were turning the account back over to the original creditor...so then I wrote the original creditor again, in hopes they will work with me. I am not ignoring these people, I have been bending over backwards begging them to work with me and I'm not hearing any thing in return? I have wrote several letters to the collection agencies and the original creditors. For weeks now, I have written them every week, trying to work something out. nada. They are all write offs and are on my credit report as write offs. no lawyers at this point, just collection agencies. what should I do?? wait for a response from them, or add them on to my debt management program. I told them that I would add them on, but I was waiting first to hear back from them, so I would know if this was satisfactory or not. Please, I need some help and opinions with this. I take care of the bills and my husband doesn't know the shape that we're in right now (not totally) because his health hasn't been so great lately and I don't want him to worry so I'm carrying the burden. I am bending over backwards to try to cooperate and work this out, I'm getting frustated that they won't respond to any of my letters. :evil: signed, sleepless shirley

p.s.heres a list of creditors-
home depot
sams club
wells fargo (two accounts-one secured/one not-and a visa) A collection agency is holding the visa and has written to accept my monthly payments. So I have started that. But wells fargo claims to still be holding the other two 'in house' but they're not answering any of my letters.

MBNA (two accounts--two different collection agencies) One agency has written to say they'll accept payments and I started that. The other collection agency still won't answer my letters.

Then just recently started hearing from a collection agency over 'dell financial' (dell computer stuff). They started calling and leaving messages like 'call us back and be sure to use case no#---------(which is my husbands social security number), or have your legal representative contact us-good luck and goodbye'.??????????????? is this a scare tactic?