Please Help, Much details inside ... We feel lost

Typically, there are about three main debt relief options (not included consolidation loans, which are not really debt relief, but are "debt shifting"):

1. Consumer credit counseling
2. debt settlement
3. Bankruptcy

1. consumer credit counseling just helps you organize your debts. They sometimes are able to secure a lower interest rate (which often helps), but you will still pay 100% of the balance plus interest (something you can do yourself) and CCC agencies charge fees (another expense that could negate the effect of the lower interest rates). You send them one payment, and they distribute those funds to your various creditors (again, you are capable of paying two or three creditors yourself).

The key to CCC is that you must be financially able to pay all your bills. Furthermore, it's not a quick fix. debt management plans can be between 5 and 7 years long.

2. Debt Settlement helps you save up funds to offer creditors as a negotiated compromise in consideration of your financial hardship. Your credit gets temporarily damaged due to the inability to pay bills and save up for settlements at the same time.

The key to debt settlement is that you must be financiall unable to pay your debts in full, but financiall able to pay at least half of your debt if you can save up enough funds in less that three years (a little math is involved). Furthemore, having some demonstratable financial hardship is typically helpful/required.

3. Bankruptcy is where you seek debt relief through the courts. An attorney would be able to tell you if you qualify for bankruptcy (especially with the new bankruptcy law), but you essentially need to be insolvent (have more debt than non-exempt assets).

They key to the new bankruptcy law is the new means testing. However, it appears your income is low enough (although you did mention that the accounts where is different names, and this may complicate things... again, something an attorney should be able to sort out).

Many debt relief sites show minimum payments as a debt relief option, but this is not debt relief (it is actually "debt prolonging"). Ignoring debt can also have negative consequences (lawsuits, debt growing, etc). So, you should definately get this taken care of.

In summary, the options break down like this:

Can pay all my debt = consumer credit counseling
Can pay 50% of my debt in less than 3 yrs = debt settlement
Cannot pay my debt, not even partially = bankruptcy

However, if you are considering a home purchase in the near future, then you will need to take this into consideration. With that being said, how can you afford a home with so much debt anyway? It would be better to get out of debt and live in a rental for a while as you rebuild your credit.

Its not "my" debt, nor "our" debt yet... i said we cant afford a house or start our lives together *UNTIL* this is taken care of ... i am very money smart, my girlfriend and dad on the other hand are not, i have 0 debt, everything is paid for, i have living expenses which i keep within my budget but cant offer very much help.. but for us ( girlfriend and i ) to start a life together, we have to take care of this first....

he is older and retired, gets company check and social security i think.

ccc sounds like a load of crap to me personally, doesnt sound like they do anymore then i can do.

bankruptcy isnt an option as he owns his house and other assets, atleast not 7 ... maybe 13.

settlement sounds like the better option and have been looking into it more. Is there any way to close the accounts and offer payment of full ballance at a set ammount over x months with 0 interest? it seems like they would like that more then 50% .... or no?

thank you for your reply, just understand that im not bad with money and im not thinking like your last paragraph suggested =)

credit card companies are not known to work with customers in financial trouble. Because they operate within a "risk" model, they are more likely to hike your apr up when you confess to financial difficulty (although there may be some exceptions).

If you close an account, the credit card company will typically want you to immediately pay the balance in full. They are more interested in earning interest over a long period of time... they are not really interested in getting the balance paid off (that's not where the money is).

Sorry if my post came off the wrong way. I just like to explain things fully.

so you have to have the look of bankruptcy and the actions leading up to it for them to negotiate accordingly?

does the settlement option involve a 3rd party which buys the debt and you pay them back? that will also carry intrest with it aswell wouldnt it?

how do you get away with making 50% payments and saving 50% to pay off? how do you get by the late fee's etc? 50% would be $400.00 a month into a savings account = $4,800 a year saved to pay it off + taxes would be around 10k a year... would they not just go after the savings account?

this, i will admit, i have very very little experience with.. and i didnt mean to come off bad, i just wanted to be up to par with each other.

credit card companies typically start by attempting to collect the debt in-house. After a few months, they may assign the debt to a debt collector (3rd party) and after even more months/years they may sell the account to a debt purchaser (also a 3rd party).

With debt settlement, the cardholder typically cannot afford to save up funds for future settlements while also making payments, so the cardholder typically is unable to make any payments on accounts as they try to save up their money.

Do a Google or Yahoo search for DIY debt settlement and you will find a kit or two that will explain the finer details of how it all works (the company I work for sells one of these kits, so I won't link to it out of respect for the forum rules).

so you stop making payments and instead save all the money... when you have roughly 50% of the actual balance ( excluding fee's / intrest) you make an offer?

is that somewhere close to what your talking about? i dont think i wana jump out and purchase a DIY debt solution off the net with no background , i'll just look for help from good natured people until i get it.

From what I am reading, since the debt is in her fathers name and unless these are joint accounts, she really has little power to do anything. If she is simply authorized, she is not even party to the debt, thus she cannot file BK on it nor can she enter any settlement plans. Her father will have to do this and want to take on the negative credit results.

yes, I understand that.

I was asking more about the process then the negative results. I know she cant, but he will more then likely follow suit and compromise.

from what im reading and from talking to others thats what im getting from all of it.

the only thing i dont understand is how you get away with paying nothing for long enough to collect enough money in a savings to make an offer...

$800/month x 9 months = $7,200 which would be a decent offer for either of the cards from what im reading... but thats 9 months of hell? Do you just do stall tactics until you have a resonable offer i guess?

then even after the first card is paid off, the 2nd card is 9 months behind and 0 in savings for it... i guess they wouldnt really have a choice?

he's on social security, they wont garnish his wages, and its unseccured debt so they wont move on his house...

am i in the right direction here? it makes a good bit of sense now...

another thing i just thought of... could use the full tax refunds and make an offer on the 2nd card and be 100% done in 9 months...

then rebuild credit... seems like they would be even more open to settling with the economy the way it is atm..?

did you get off work or something? lol =P