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Debtconsolidationcare.com - the USA consumer forum

Drowning in debt, don't know where to begin...

Date: Mon, 03/22/2010 - 16:21

Submitted by LuigiVercotti
on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 16:21

Posts: 17 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 22


Been reading posts up here, have learned a lot. My own situation is similar, yet different, to many up here, think I will try to explain & ask some questions.

I lost my "real" job a couple years ago. Racked up huge CC and loan debt as I struggled to keep going and find work. Found work last year through startup company via a friend and was making only enough to keep head above water with minimum payments on all the CCs.

Had promise of big payday when things took off. Was optimistically thinking I could keep holding out this way until the company took off & big $$ came in and could then pay off all my debts in full.

Then without warning, everything has fallen apart. The company still has not taken off and the investor who basically pays my salary is supposedly unable to do so anymore. I have no more $$ coming in. I have basically no $$ left even with which to live. I cannot pay any of my bills due in about a week, including my mortgage.

I owe a huge amount on CCs to BOA, Citi, Cap One, Chase, FIA, & Discover. Plus more to CapOne on a personal loan. And I have a mortgage. Bills out the wazoo. Don't know what to do. Boo hoo (sorry but I am so depressed, stressed, and out of my mind this rhyme just came out).

From what I've learned reading up here it sounds like my only option is to simply stop paying ALL of my credit card bills and not even contact them?? To let them all go delinquent for months??? Then try to "settle" with them for less money???? Hoping that in the meantime I can get another job, or sell my house, so that I have some $$ to offer the companies in return?? Is that correct???

Right now I have no $$ to pay anything anyway so that decision is already made for me (letting the bills go delinquent). I am confused though after reading many posts up here as to whether I should even try calling these companies now and explaining my circumstances (broke/no $$ coming in) or just let them come to me after months have gone by and my accounts have gone deliquent.

I'm hoping to sell some personal stuff in the next week to at least get enough to pay my mortgage for next month, but even that is uncertain...

Thanks for any helpful advice.


Luigi, Hang in there man. I know it sucks. But lots of folks here are going through similar circumstances, or have been through them already and come out of it stronger and free of debt. You can settle these debts yourself, but it takes a ton of patience and work. Just read everything here and stockpile cash like a madman. Sell stuff, cut expenses, save up every dime you can. Be relentless and you'll win.


lrhall41

Submitted by andrewjackson on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 17:55

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


Keep your four walls up... Home - electricity - food - car (gas). Then breath. The way to handle the situation is up to you as to how you would like to handle your credit card companies. Personally we had a business that breathed it's last breath last year. We had clients who didn't call, stopped paying with a huge balance due, and great clients who turned mean. We decided that should we ever go through something like this we would do our best to stay in touch, pay what we could, and treat whom ever called with respect no matter how ugly they became. We only had one gentlemen who was very agressive, attacking our way of handling our situation, but giving him a few moments to collect himself and explaining how we would move on from this point, he became a pleasant man to deal with. Choose how you would like to be treated and move on from there. It has been hard to deal with not being able to pay our bills for the first time ever. We had the guilt, depression, and low self esteem associated with acknowledging that we did not do anything right with our finances. Now with this said, no one came to the door and took our last bean. No one can take anything from you that the good Lord gave you and you are not willing to give away. Circumstances change all the time. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, know that you are a great man with opportunities just around the corner, if they are not hitting you in the head already. My husband who didn't know what was going to happen is now working his dream job. I just encourage you to start tomorrow with a new perspective. I have followed people on this site for awhile now, when they are searching for a way out their posts have fear written in them. When they first start working their plan they have a direction but are still uncertain. When they really decide which way to go, look out because nothing is going to stop them until they reach "Debt Free Destination". You will be fine, it will be hard, but nothing worth having is easy.


lrhall41

Submitted by Merecent on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 18:08

( Posts: 5 | Credits: )


Thanks for the encouring words. I know I am not the only one out there in this type of (hopeless) situation and many have it far worse. It's just so hard to deal with. I feel like I am in an episode of the twilight zone.

I am doing a lot of reading up here. Would be interested in hearing more about folks in similar situation to myself and how they dealt with the CCs/loan companies. My next move is to decide whether to call them now, or to just let everything fall apart and wait it out like I keep reading in so many threads up here, that the only way to do any negotiating is (a) to have some $$ to negotiate with (of which I have none currently) and (b) don't negotiate until a certain # of days go by because it is not until then that they would even negotiate anyways.

From what I have read, bankruptcy does not sound like an option for me, for several reasons, including it would take a good 6 months to even file anyways.

And then there is the whole issue of whether I can even find the $$ to stay in my house as it is anyways, or if I can even sell it, or what I would do next if I did. Just dealing with the "4 walls" equation seems like climbing MT Everest right now.


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 19:01

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


You are definately not alone. Remember that. When my situation started to get bad at the end of last year I was absolutely despondent. I had always paid my bills on time and suddenly I didn't have any money. I was getting suicidal and couldn't sleep. It was horrible.

But then I realized I had to concentrate on the basics. The house payment, utilities and food. I let the credit cards go without payments and thought the world would end. But you know what? It really hasn't been that bad. Yes the phone rings but I just don't answer it until I'm ready to talk to them. They ask for a payment - I say I don't have the money - they say when will you - I say I won't - they say fine and hang up and continue to call. When you think about it, it's really a funny process. No one has yelled at me - no one has been rude. So far so good.

Concentrate on your basic needs and don't beat yourself up. I can't control everything in life and I also can't live in fear. Fear of the unknown is what was making me crazy but when I really thought about what they could do - well it's really not much.


lrhall41

Submitted by on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 19:43

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous
You are definately not alone. Remember that. When my situation started to get bad at the end of last year I was absolutely despondent. I had always paid my bills on time and suddenly I didn't have any money. I was getting suicidal and couldn't sleep. It was horrible.


Yea, that's me too. I was stressed out pretty bad even b4 the $$ stopped coming in but now it is really bad. I've lost 15 pounds in a month, not eating, not sleeping...and it's not like I needed to go on a diet either.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous

But then I realized I had to concentrate on the basics. The house payment, utilities and food. I let the credit cards go without payments and thought the world would end. But you know what? It really hasn't been that bad. Yes the phone rings but I just don't answer it until I'm ready to talk to them. They ask for a payment - I say I don't have the money - they say when will you - I say I won't - they say fine and hang up and continue to call. When you think about it, it's really a funny process. No one has yelled at me - no one has been rude. So far so good.

Concentrate on your basic needs and don't beat yourself up. I can't control everything in life and I also can't live in fear. Fear of the unknown is what was making me crazy but when I really thought about what they could do - well it's really not much


Thanks that advice does help me a lot. I'm going to try not worrying about the CC debt for now.

But I have to figure out how to get $$ to pay the necessities (mortgage, utils, food, medicine etc). And without CCs I can't even do that. And of course that is what got me into this mess in the first place, spiraled way out of control. With no income and nothing in the bank I have no choice but to get in even deeper just to pay the electric bill.

10 years ago I lost $55,000 in the stock market and although I wasn't happy about it didn't actually matter that much. I had a good job, 401k, savings, money market, plenty in the checking account. Now I have zero in the bank, can't get a decent job, and over a 100k in debt. Haven't had health insurance for a year and constantly worry about that too. I don't know who I am or what country I am living in anymore. On the one hand I blame myself for getting into this mess, but on the other - what has happened to our economy the past 10 years?? Almost everyone I know has lost their job due to businesses going under, big global corporate mergers, stuff like that. I see people in their 40s and 50s that used to have 75k+ white collar jobs are now working in the local Chick-Fil-A for peanuts. Seemed like the 80s and 90s were so much easier to make a living. Sorry, enough whining...


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 21:20

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


Yes the economy has definately changed. But that's not the death nell for you. I have had to make HUGE changes in my business in order to survive. I think the only way for some people to survive if their line of work is no more is to become self employed. As an unemployed person you can usually get free training in many many things. For instance, you could take accounting classes and start a small accounting firm to do taxes and bookkeeping, you could become a consultant in the field you used to work in, you could scour garage sales and sell stuff on Ebay. I have a lady in my netowrking group that does errands for people like grocery shopping - I'm sure she's not making much but if she grew it she could probably keep her house and lights on. When I owned a payroll company one of my clients made $70k a year cleaning houses. Another lady in my group supports her family selling Avon. She works like crazy promoting but her business is booming as everyone, including me, have stopped buying the expensive brands and am willing to try the less expensive (very good by the way). There are lots of ideas out there you have to see which ones fit you and your personality.

So I think you have to stop mourning the past like I did. Once I figured out that I would just have to hussle like crazy to make money on my own it's finally starting to work and I'm feeling pretty good now about the future.


lrhall41

Submitted by on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 07:40

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LuigiVercotti
And then there is the whole issue of whether I can even find the $$ to stay in my house as it is anyways, or if I can even sell it, or what I would do next if I did. Just dealing with the "4 walls" equation seems like climbing MT Everest right now.


What's your situation with the house? Do you have good equity in it? If so, you might be better off to sell it and either get yourself out of the hole a bit, or bank the money while you make the minimum payments so you have something to live on until you can find work. I know it sucks to sell a house you're happy with, and comfortable in, but it can also ease a lot of stress.

If you don't have the equity in the house to do this, it's a different story of course. In that case I'd stay in it and just make sure you cover the absolute necessities every month.

Taking one of those jobs for peanuts at Chick-Fil-A might at least help you get through the lean times. Or do what Debt Free To Be suggested and find ways to bring in some extra income. Sell some stuff on eBay, contract yourself out to people who need something that you're an expert in (maybe what you were doing at the startup?), do some freelance writing on a topic you're familiar with - there are lots of ways to bring in some extra money, just get creative.


lrhall41

Submitted by mramsey95 on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 09:57

( Posts: 5 | Credits: )


Quote:

Originally Posted by mramsey95
What's your situation with the house? Do you have good equity in it? If so, you might be better off to sell it and either get yourself out of the hole a bit, or bank the money while you make the minimum payments so you have something to live on until you can find work.


Yeah, that was actually my plan last year, sell the house, get out of most of the debt, have some $$ to live off of, move in with a relative, try to start over. But this friend came to my "rescue" said no don't sell your house, I'll get you in on this job thing, I'll keep you afloat. But now - poof!

Now I guess I am back to selling the house again. But I don't know if I can sell the house quick enough (or at all) in today's market. Or if I even have the strength to deal with all that.

I do have equity in it (I think). I owe about $75,000 on the mortgage. Bought it new in 1992. Houses in this area go for around low $200's. But mine would need some work first that I can't do, minor stuff to spruce it up for selling it but nothing that I can afford to do (new windows, new carpet, painting, cleaning, etc). Maybe I could get $150-175k for it as is. I don't really know.

Has anyone heard of anything (that is not a scam) where someone will buy your house for below market value then rent it back to you for a period of time, say one year or something like that? That would be perfect for me, get me $$ to live on, out of most of my debt, give time to find a real job, time to find new place to live, move out my stuff, etc, without all the panic pressure I am under now.


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 13:56

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


Oh, and forgot to say - before this recent job I had been selling stuff on ebay and Amazon. Mostly my own valuables. Am scrambling right now to put more up for sale. Ebay sucks for sellers now, I hate it and stopped using it last year. Just too many hassles. And Craigslist was a total waste of time, could never get anyone to pull the trigger on anything. But all of those are good ideas to try when in a pinch.


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 14:08

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


To get the cc companies to stop calling just send this letter-cease and desist- and your phone will not ring:
https://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forum/template-cdletter.html

Get a job- I used to clean houses and made over 2k a mth doing so. I know jobs are hard to find but you have to eat girlfriend!
BREATH! This will pass! You can only do what you can do and thats it. If you have NO job and NO money coming in then you might be looking at bankruptcy. Sometimes its the only way. Good luck! And NEVER give up!


lrhall41

Submitted by on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 15:49

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I agree with others who have posted here; FIRST take care of yourself and ensure you have food, housing, utilities; then focus on other debt.

Here's a few additional ideas to generate income:
1. Possibly rent out a room in your home (temporarily) until you get back on your feet. I know this is not ideal, but it might help pay the bills.
2. Do you qualify for Unemployment... (extensions) that would at least pay for utilities and groceries. If not, try to get some help from your community/church/state.
3. I have a friend who buys items (glassware, stemware, dolls, collectibles) from thrift stores, estate sales and auctions then turns around and sells on ebay; she says she makes around $5K every two months. This plan would take some money to get started and no guarantee that you will sell items for a profit.

Best of luck to you and try to focus on the future and better days ahead.


lrhall41

Submitted by MGB on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 16:09

( Posts: 33 | Credits: )


Quote:

Originally Posted by LuigiVercotti
I do have equity in it (I think). I owe about $75,000 on the mortgage. Bought it new in 1992. Houses in this area go for around low $200's. But mine would need some work first that I can't do, minor stuff to spruce it up for selling it but nothing that I can afford to do (new windows, new carpet, painting, cleaning, etc). Maybe I could get $150-175k for it as is. I don't really know.


I would get a realtor to come and give you some advice on it. They should be able to give you a ballpark value for the house in its current condition, even if it's not an official appraisal, which would probably cost you something. They should also be able to give you an idea of the local market and whether or not they're getting much demand in the area, for houses like yours.

It shouldn't cost anything, since this is part of how they generate clients.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuigiVercotti
Has anyone heard of anything (that is not a scam) where someone will buy your house for below market value then rent it back to you for a period of time, say one year or something like that? That would be perfect for me, get me $$ to live on, out of most of my debt, give time to find a real job, time to find new place to live, move out my stuff, etc, without all the panic pressure I am under now.


I don't know of any services that do this, but there's nothing stopping you from arranging a deal like that with a potential buyer. It can be written into the sales contract, and there are investors who buy houses to rent. Having a guaranteed renter for the first year, two years or whatever you arrange can actually be attractive to them, since they won't have to go out and find one.

You can be as creative as you want with the terms of the sale, it's just a matter of finding a buyer who is willing to accept what you want. The more complicated it is, the smaller your pool of buyers will be, but you could find someone looking for an investment that will take you up on the offer.


lrhall41

Submitted by mramsey95 on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 10:42

( Posts: 5 | Credits: )


Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous
To get the cc companies to stop calling just send this letter-cease and desist- and your phone will not ring:
https://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forum/template-cdletter.html
Get a job- I used to clean houses and made over 2k a mth doing so. I know jobs are hard to find but you have to eat girlfriend!
BREATH! This will pass! You can only do what you can do and thats it. If you have NO job and NO money coming in then you might be looking at bankruptcy. Sometimes its the only way. Good luck! And NEVER give up!


do not send this a care cease and desist letter, this will cause them to take legal action usually.

suck it up and deal with the calls on occasion, not always but occasion, its the best way to have the outcome benefit you.

all the steps this sites provides are bad.

wish people would stop giving uneducated info here, some of the things people to do can really damage the process of doing great for yourself.


lrhall41

Submitted by on Thu, 03/25/2010 - 15:38

( Posts: | Credits: )


Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous
do not send this a care cease and desist letter, this will cause them to take legal action usually.

suck it up and deal with the calls on occasion, not always but occasion, its the best way to have the outcome benefit you.

What do you say to them when they call? Do you tell them that you are having a financial crisis, have no $$, and can't pay? What do people do??? [I guess I will just be disconnecting my phone - or more likely having it cutoff in a few weeks anyway]


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 10:53

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


[QUOTE=LuigiVercotti;672597]What do you say to them when they call? Do you tell them that you are having a financial crisis, have no $$, and can't pay? What do people do??? [I guess I will just be disconnecting my phone - or more likely having it cutoff in a few weeks anyway][/QUOTE]

do you have money to settle with them? what you just said is a good way to start negotiating, start there and offer them next to nothing, always try to settle at 30% or less, if you can do that you off to a good start.

like i said dont send any documents that can cause damage to your game plan. infact try to stay away from sending any info to them, the only thing you want is them sending you a settlement letter.


lrhall41

Submitted by on Sun, 03/28/2010 - 13:51

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Luigi, IMO your immediate objective would be to keep the creditors from taking any legal action against you. Answer some of their calls time-to-time till you scrap up enough to discuss a settlement. Depending upon the state laws, creditors can put a lien on your house and property. So, your best bet is to keep them from going to the court.

I agree with the other poster, don't send any letter to the creditors. It would only instigate them to take legal action.


lrhall41

Submitted by SC on Sun, 03/28/2010 - 23:31

( Posts: 3937 | Credits: )


Quote:

Originally Posted by LuigiVercotti
I'm getting phone calls from the CC/loan companies now. What is the best thing to tell these people? That I lost my source of income and have no money to pay anything now? (which is the truth). I don't know what to do and am too scared to even answer the phone anymore....


Tell them the truth. I really really feel your pain. It is evident in your posts. Please keep us updated.


lrhall41

Submitted by on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 08:04

( Posts: | Credits: )


Thanks for the advice. I have been struggling lately, scared to death of my circumstances, very ashamed, and not knowing what to do or how to deal with all these phone calls (basically 5-10 per hour). I feel (mentally) paralyzed, hard to describe, I guess this is what depression is. I need to somehow kick myself in the ass and face this mess, do something positive. Reading posts up here helps....


lrhall41

Submitted by LuigiVercotti on Mon, 04/26/2010 - 16:33

( Posts: 17 | Credits: )


I agree with the other poster. When these guys got rough with me, I told them I was NOT going to jump of the highway bridge like my associate in town did....and I was NOT going to be put down emotionally by their words or voices. Tell the truth and you may find a human on the other end of the phone.


lrhall41

Submitted by dantheman on Mon, 04/26/2010 - 17:13

( Posts: 860 | Credits: )