My Escalating Debt

I remember as a child my parents filing for bankruptcy and arguing about money late at night. We lived in a small town, you know the kind where everybody literally knows everybody else. People would drop off bags of clothes, shoes and other things for us kids to help out. Needless to say we got teased by some of the kids at school for wearing their old clothes. We got through it and it made us stronger as a family. My mother taught me how to manage money when I was 16 by giving me an allowance of $5.00 a week (that was all she could afford to give) and making me budget it. It had to pay for gas money to and from school, lunches and going out on the weekends. It didn't go very far and I wasn't allowed to get an after school job. My sisters had when they were in high school and couldn't keep their grades up. I really didn't like babysitting and didn't want to do it anymore so I had to get creative. I bought a rundown Toyota cheap at a junk yard with babysitting money I had been saving since I was 12 years old. My dad helped me fix it up and I started giving other kids rides to school for $5.00 a week. This gave me another $20.00 a week to spend. I learned how to budget myself and save for what I wanted at an early age.
When I got married 15 years ago I was bound and determined not to fall into debt. Then I found out about my husbands old debts while trying to buy a car. I worked out a budget and started paying them off. By taking control of our finances and basically giving him a set allowance to spend on nonessentials we were debt free in under 2 years. We bought a house, 2 vehicles and had an excellant credit rating.
Then we found out I was pregnant again. I was put on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy and was unable to work. I was not allowed to handle our bills as it sometimes stressed me out and I would begin having contractions. My husband took over our finances. He got credit cards and store cards then didn't make payments. We fell behind on every house hold bill including our mortgage. He didn't write anything down in the checkbook register and started bouncing checks. Mean while hiding all of this from me so that I didn't lose the baby. When I took over the fincances again I was shocked. His solution was to call his parents and get money from them. They're well off and had always bailed him out of money trouble in the past. Which is the reason he doesn't know how to manage money. They sent the money of course and he learned nothing. I won't allow him to borrow any more from his parents. I have been working 2 full time jobs off and on ever since trying to get us out of debt. We ended up losing our house and getting one of the cars reposessed. We get things paid down and something always happens to make it go back up again. I closed the checking account and pay everything in cash or money orders.
I have a hard time not buying the boys new school clothes. I should go to the thrift stores but I just can't make myself. No matter how much my parents loved and supported me I always felt inferior to the other kids because all my clothes were used. I never want them to feel that way. I've used our bill money for clothes and for gifts if I haven't got enough saved. I also enjoy shopping and don't dare go into a store without a list and only enough money to get what we need. I'm an impulse buyer and can spend my whole paycheck and not even realise it until I get the transaction total.

About 3years ago our credit rating had improved and I got 3 low balance credit cards to pay bills online and for emergencies. We had a teenage girl living with us, her mother had kicked her out when she was 12 yrs old. When she was 14 I found her sneaking into my grandmothers barn to sleep at night. I guess she had been doing that for several months. My husband and I decided to take her in and she was a good kid always following the rules. We never had any problems with her so when she got a date to the prom we went all out. I maxed out 2 of the credit cards on her dress and accessories. Yes, it was incredibly stupid and shortsighted. But she'd been through so much and we wanted her to enjoy herself, to be the kid her early life had denied her the chance to be. She did to, and looked absolutely gorgeous. I'd do it again just for the smile she couldn't get rid of for over a week afterwards.
I had a good job and was making the payments with extra to pay them off quickly. My husband was laid off from his job the year before and hadn't been able to find work. He did odd jobs for people and made enough to help out. We were slowly getting back on our feet. This is of course when something had to go wrong. Business dropped and I got laid off. I went on unemployment for the first time in my life. I was still able pay bills and make minimum payments on the credit cards. I've never had a problem finding a job. I usually have 2 so I was confident I would be back to work in no time. I was wrong, nobody was hiring they were to busy laying people off. I didn't find another job until 3 months after my unemployment ran out. I also was tooprideful and refused to apply for food stamps, using the credit cards instead until they were maxed out again. With no other choice I swallowed my pride and applied for them. Its amazing how stupid your pride can make you behave. I was still embarassed to use them though and made my husband do all the shopping. I found another job that lasted 8 months and was laid off again. This time it only lasted 4 months. I got tired of being laid off and not being able to find a job so I made one for myself. I started my own housekeeping service. I make enough to pay the monthly household bills. My husband has also started working for himself. It's taken almost a year but we have finally gotten the 5 months overdue rent plus the other over due household bills Paid up and current. I want to start saving so that we have enough to fall back on in an emergency. But I would also like to start paying off all of the old debts that have been building up over the years. I would like to set a good example for my children by paying them off in full and not taking settlements. In the winter business goes down and so do our profits. I have a feeling its going to take at least a couple of years to dig our way out of the whole we're in.
I found this site while looking on the internet for a debt consolidation program. I've been reading the forums about what people have done to get out of debt. It gives me hope that we too can eliminate the debt and collection letters at last.